HOW TO: 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Look For Lots Of Portland Baby Boomers Lining Up.

1. Get married young and stay married.

You’ve got a slim chance of getting to fifty on either a second marriage or a late first.

Look at the obituaries and you’ll see high school sweethearts listed.

Usually the husband makes the list first.

What to do?

Start early.

2. Be sure to have kids.

A fifty year anniversary is an achievement, but fifty years without a kid to break things up?

A dog is a good idea too, but will Fido be ready to roast you on the 50th?

Friends and family will celebrate, or at least notice, you’re fiftieth unless you belong to a shunning group.

Then it’s only you.

3. Pick a party place.

The 23rd floor of the Portland Hilton works.

The view goes 360 degrees.

Entering on the ground floor feels big time.

The whole deal feels like a dress up event, so dress up.

4. Hire a band.

Make sure it’s not a band playing original music no one’s ever heard.

The 50th is a reason to kick up your heels. Find a reliable cover band.

Johnny Limbo and The Lugnuts? They’re tight, get it right, and start early.

When it’s dance time you want to float on the floor to hits, not misses.

5. Open bar.

Make sure this is in the invitation for a good turnout.

Hire a party planner to watch the door, someone with a little bite.

Free booze doesn’t mean a free for all night, but it won’t hurt to let in a friend of the band.

6. Shockingly good food.

Leave the calorie counter at home tonight, but be reasonable.

That means small portions. Eat, dance, drink, eat. Repeat.

7. Dance like it means something.

Get your steps organized so you cut a mean rug.

If you can’t swing dance, waltz, or fox trot, break out your two step.

Make sure you dance enough to get a sweat up. If anyone notices, tell them it reminds you of your wedding.

8. Have a vision.

The great thing about the Hilton’s 23rd floor party room is seeing reflections in the windows overlaying the cityscape.

No, it’s not some rouge flashback to the brown acid from Woodstock, but it’s amazing.

The band plays on. Dancers show steps worthy of Dancing With The Stars. The place smells like comfort food nirvana.

A 50th anniversary is party time, so party like it’s… (fill in the blank.)