HORSE, RIDER, YOU, ME, AND SECRETARIAT

Horse rider? It sounds like a strange thing to call someone, but I’m not calling.

Instead, I’m referring to what I like to say is the magical formula to every successful relationship.

When you go to the stables and saddle up, no one is confused about who is who in the role playing department.

You are the rider, the horse is the horse. After that it gets complicated.

Today kids are the boss, the rider, and parents are the horses.

It hasn’t always been that way.

Farmers used to have big families for free labor.

The kids got a roof over their head, clothes, warm food, and questions about whether they would be farmers with big families in the future.

Or would they run off to the city.

 

Jackie sits back
Collects his thoughts for a moment
Scratches his head
And does his best James Dean
Well you know, Diane
We oughta run off to the city
Diane says, baby
You ain’t missin’ nuth-in

 

In this modern world, kids ride their future while moms and dads cheer them on.

Who’s the horse rider again?

Diane or Jack?

 

Husband, Wife, Horse, Rider

I give marriage advice based on the 51-49 principle.

If you’re the 51%, you’re the rider; if you’re the 49%, you are the horse.

Then roles change as time passes and situations change.

I was definitely the rider on the recent roadie.

At least that’s how I started out.

In classic western style I would have been the lone searcher for a greater truth to man’s essential questions.

I would drive as long as I wanted, eat when I wanted, pull over when I wanted.

That was my plan. My wife had other plans.

I’d take the dog with me. She reserved rooms in dog-friendly motels. I was on a tracking program that showed her where I was every mile of the trip on a map.

But wait, I’m the rider? No, not even when I’m behind the wheel, in the saddle, or pulling the wagon.

There is a higher power present for married people.

It’s called cooperation.

With that super power in hand I worked to eek out my 51%.

I pulled over for the dog, stopped at motels when I could have gone further, and ate a bag of broccoli like a pale rider.

What great truth did I learn? Life is better with a good wife.

 

If You’re The Horse, Be This Kind Of Horse

Fifty years after his Triple Crown, Secretariat still holds the record for the fastest Derby ever run: 1:59 2/5 seconds.

He still holds the record for the fastest Preakness run: 1:53 flat (adjusted after a teletimer error originally clocked him in 1:55 2/5).

He still holds the record for the fastest Belmont: 2:24 flat.

 

If you’re the horse, be a super horse.

Be memorable. Stomp a stall. Win your races.

Most of all, be aware of the difference between a horse and a rider.

A rider on a good horse doesn’t need to go to the whip as often as riders on lesser horses.

If you, as a fellow horse, see one of your horse pals getting the whip too often, they may have a bad rider.

Being the horse is one thing, getting horse whipped is another.

If you are the horse in the ‘horse rider’ example, you’re probably the mule, the goat, the sheep, the pig, and the cow.

Unless you’re the wife, then you can’t be the cow. That would be rude.

The important thing, the most important thing, is to embrace the role you choose.

You might be wrong thinking you’re the rider, or wrong thinking you’re the horse, but make it your choice and learn to live with any corrections that come your way.

Do it for Secretariat, the greatest horse ever.

Do it for Comanche, The Brave Horse you’ve never heard of.

Give your all horse rider, or rider horse.

Then give a little more.

 

Look For Clues

If an older man complains incessantly about how unfairly they are treated, they may be the horse.

The same man doesn’t change and complains even louder about how everything is rigged against him?

That doesn’t sound like a rider to me.

Then they start re-running old shit that’s already been debunked like no one will notice?

That’s when they graduate from horse to jackass.

And that breaks the 51-49 rule for relationships. Jackasses don’t qualify.

Don’t be that.