HOMEWARD BOUND, I WISH I WERE

Homeward bound? I’m home, not sitting in a railway station with a ticket for my destination, but I would be if I screwed up and my family found out.

I’ve got a wife and two kids, two boys now men, who have never cut me any slack.

All three are accomplished ass-kickers and mine would be one they’d break out a special boot on.

Needless to say, if I deserved one, they’d deliver. Maybe I’m exaggerating?

You decide. First, the wife:

This is a woman who has delivered over 300 babies as the primary doctor in home-births.

I’ve been present for two home-births.

There was lots of yelling and encouragement. It sounded like a wrestling match. I’ve remembered that over the years of yelling and encouragement. Scary.

Both my boys were wrestlers, a skill that’s come in handy for them.

One has the story of the college party where a guy the older son knew came up behind him for a playful choke-out. You know how much fun those damn college kids can be.

In their competitive athletic life both men exhibited proper sportsmanship. They’ve showed restraint. Not that night.

Would they show their old man the same restraint if they saw me in the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6th?

No.

Would my lovely wife understand my new interest in vandalizing the Capitol we visited four years ago when we walked the building on a tour after reaching out to Oregon Rep. Suzanne Bonamici?

No.

I would be in a railway station with a ticket for my destination, not homeward bound. And my destination would be the biggest dog house ever built.

In another town.

That’s how we roll, and I’d agree with them because that’s what happens in the real world of family life when daddy is a disgrace.

I do wonder about the home receptions the guys photographed inside the Capitol got.

High fives?

If you’ve ever visited the jailhouse, you’re seen the despair. I’ve toured a few, I’ve driven parents to the prison their kids were in. It’s never a happy time.

How many families will have the prison visit experience in the near future? How many will question daddy’s judgment in going to Washington D.C. on Jan. 6.

If the truth sets us free, listen.