HOARDING TIME: MEMORY LOSS IN AGING BOOMERS

Hoarding time isn’t the same as a balancing a stack of newspapers, or an envelope of hairpins in a box of envelopes with hairpins.

It’s not the same because hoarding time is about keeping memories, memories of loved ones, places, and things.

Things are what we see when we suspect someone is a hoarder.

Why so many suits hanging in your closet when you don’t wear suits?

If you inherited them and they fit, why not?

Besides, you might get into a suit wearing phase and be glad you have them.

But hoarding time isn’t about clothes, or buying the same pair of shoes nine times. It’s about memory loss, and the fear of losing yourself, ourselves.

And it’s a real fear. You can see it in the faces of older people once you get past the common courtesies.

It’s actually three expressions:

One is the constant smile of acknowledgment they learned from a career sitting in important meetings while planning what’s for lunch.

Another is the intense response to everything said. It’s a later version of Fear Of Missing Out. An elderly FOMO.

This is the expression of a ‘lifelong learner’ who knows they’ve already seen it all, but you never know.

Finally, it’s little eye contact and silence because they know you want to take their ‘treasures’ to the dump.

Hoarding Time In Photographs

The top image was taken in SE Portland in 1988.

Its significance comes from the new kid on the scene at the left, and Ronald Reagan fading away on the right.

Thirty four years later I remember thinking, ‘This kid is making his own vision.’

He still is.

Now he’s got a sixty-seven year old daddy, older than my own dad was before he passed.

He’ll have his photographs to sort, along with his brother. If they have time to check in with their old dad now and then, what should they check for to make sure we’re all on the same page.

If you don’t know what to check for in your parents, here’s a short list:

• Changes in mood or personality
• Social withdrawal
• Confusion with time and place
• Difficulty completing daily tasks
• Trouble with speaking or writing

Changes in mood or personality

Daddy wears a red hat, bought a pocket sized copy of the US Constitution, and complains about being canceled.

Social withdrawal

Daddy won’t go anywhere because he’s afraid he’ll miss a Fox News Alert For Breaking News

He barely speaks and when he does he sounds like he’s repeating talking points from a insurrectionist’s testimony.

Confusion with time and place

Daddy says Jan. 6 was the greatest day of his life and things would have been different if he’d been there.

Difficulty completing daily tasks

Daddy lives in a chair in front of the television. Things are piling up.

Do you know about the completing daily tasks? It’s about showering and dressing and using the bathroom unassisted. Those daily tasks.

He says he’s got more important things do to.

Trouble with speaking or writing

Daddy writes checks to people he sees in the news and calls them to say good job.

The rest of us don’t seem to matter anymore.

Hoarding Time In Case Of Emergency

If you have fond memories that have soured over the past few years, at least you have photographs of better times.

There’s the guy who looked like John Lennon if John Lennon had played football.

But instead of finding peace and love they assumed the role of vigilant defender of national pride and patriotism and spew poison if given the chance.

2

The lady who proved she was every bit as rabid as the guys by climbing through a broken window in the Capitol?

She was shot dead, but her family must have sweet pictures of her in calmer times for the sake of memories.

3

A decent enough man was on video being arrested at an airport when he melted down and complained, “You’re treating me like a black person.”

Everyone that knows him wants to forget that. He didn’t do anything useful there.

Hoarding time doesn’t take up any space, doesn’t waste any resources, and seems weird when you explain what you mean.

“Yeah, well some boomer blogger talked about hoarding time and I thought of you. Maybe we can look at pictures together.”

“I subscribe to BoomerPdx, whoever that is, and they posted about hoarding time. Maybe you can explain it to me?”

“There’s a guy who says he’s posted over three thousand times on his blog. Three thousand. They can’t all suck. Maybe he’s on to something useful?”

What am I on to? If you have a surplus of love and kindness, spread it around.

Today is a good day for it.

Do it for the children.

That’s what I’m up to. How about you? You got something better?

Let’s hear about it in comments and I’ll tell you you’re wrong.

Looking forward to hearing from you.