HISTORY CLASSES WITH PROFESSOR JOHNNY HORTON

Dear readers, history classes are more than remembering dates and kings and generals.

I know this because college changed from that to a more comprehensive picture of time and event during my protracted historical education.

The standard when I graduated in 1991 included three books: a novel of the times, one writer’s opinion in a monograph, and a compilation of historians chiming in with their takes.

As a seasoned history student, I’m adding Professor Johnny Horton to the mix.

His research on the War of 1812 produced the Battle of New Orleans.

Did the British win?

Britain effectively won the War of 1812 by successfully defending its North American colonies.

Did America win?

The United States, meanwhile, could claim to have won the war because they didn’t lose any territory in the Treaty of Ghent.

I’ll say it now: Johnny Horton won the War of 1812.

If the British had won the Battle of New Orleans it could have voided the Louisiana Purchase and returned land bought from France back to Spain.

History classes with Johnny Norton explain it all.

In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip’
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans

Besides his historical knowledge, he uncovered innovative artillery men:

We fired our cannon ’til the barrel melted down
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round
We filled his head with cannonballs ‘n’ powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind

And clever tactics:

Old Hickory said, “We could take ’em by surprise
If we didn’t fire our muskets ’til we looked ’em in the eye”
We held our fire ’til we see’d their faces well
Then we opened up our squirrel guns and gave ’em

Well, we fired our guns and the British kept a-comin’
There wasn’t as many as there was a while ago
We fired once more and they began to runnin’
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico

More American History Classes

Which side of the Civil War would Johnny Cash and Johnny Horton join?

One was a Texan, the other from Arkansas. You do the math.

(An unusual wrinkle in history made Oregon a pivotal state in 1859 with a troubled past.)

Professor Horton addresses the Civil War with Johnny Reb.

I saw General Lee raise the sabre in his hand
Heard the cannon’s roar as you made your last stand 
You marched in the battle with the gray and the red
When the cannon’s smoke cleared, took days to count the dead

When Honest Abe heard the news about your fall
The folks thought he’d call a great victory ball
But he asked the band to play the song “Dixie”
For you Johnny Reb and all that you believed

‘Cause you fought all the way, Johnny Reb, Johnny Reb 
Yeah, you fought all the way, Johnny Reb

2

With Comanche The Brave Horse, Professor Horton covers the wars in the American west.

The battle was over at Custer’s last stand
And taps were sounding for all the brave men
While one lone survivor wounded and weak
Comanche the Brave Horse lay at the General’s feet

Though you are silent your deeds did speak loud
If your buddies could see you I know they’d be proud
The symbol of bravery at the Little Big Horn
Poor old Comanche you’re battle scarred and torn

3

Sink The Bismarck is Dr. Horton’s analysis of WWII.

In May of nineteen forty-one the war had just begun
The Germans had the biggest ship, they had the biggest guns
The Bismarck was the fastest ship that ever sailed the sea
On her deck were guns as big as steers and shells as big as trees

We’ll find the German battleship that’s makin’ such a fuss
We gotta sink the Bismarck cause the world depends on us
Hit the decks a-runnin’ boys and spin those guns around
When we find the Bismarck we gotta cut her down

We found that German battleship been makin’ such a fuss
We had to sink the Bismarck ’cause the world depends on us
We hit the deck a-runnin’ and we spun those guns around
We found the mighty Bismarck and then we cut her down

Does Historical Music Push History Interest?

Have you ever given a rip about The War of 1812?

Me neither, but Johnny made me look around.

Although its events inspired one of the nation’s most famous patriotic songs, the War of 1812 is a relatively little-known war in American history.

Despite its complicated causes and inconclusive outcome, the conflict helped establish the credibility of the young United States among other nations. 

Does that sound like the Korean Conflict, or is it just me? Another ‘Forgotten’ war?

2

The Civil War death count is stunning in the way battlefields.org drives it home.

This chart and the one below are based on research done by Provost Marshal General James Fry in 1866. 

His estimates for Southern states were based on Confederate muster rolls–many of which were destroyed before he began his study–and many historians have disputed the results. 

The estimates for Virginia, North Carolina, Alabama, South Carolina, and Arkansas have been updated to reflect more recent scholarship.

3

Who among you and your circle discuss the German Kriegsmarine?

Any hands?

Johnny Horton does.

I checked in with naval-encyclopedia.com for the hard, boring, and unimaginatively displayed, historical truth . . . so far.

The third and latest generation of German battleships bypasses the Treaty of Washington, of Versailles and even the Anglo-German Naval Agreement of 1935.

The Bismarck class was designed to outperform any warship afloat. 

Yes, historically themed music pushes interest in history.

So do novels and history books.

So do plays and paintings, science and architecture.

But mostly, dear reader, you encouraging others to appreciate local history and how it fits into the bigger picture is what pushes interest.

If you didn’t click the links on the song titles they all point to a video of images associated with the time the song is about.

The last of today’s history classes is North To Alaska, and it feels cold with Johnny singing.

Warm it up by singing along.