HEDGE TRIMMER SEEN BUT NOT BOUGHT? HERE’S WHY:

A hedge trimmer on a pole for high shrubbery?

No problem.

Drag out extension cord, plug it in, and go at it.

But a hedge trimmer powered by a battery?

Since I’ve got an extensive load of brush, er, plantings, on my property keeping them in check is a big job.

Hire a crew, or do it yourself?

As a DIYer I’ve drug extension cords around plants, over plants, and broken a few things.

The set up takes a while to avoid damage.

I’ve got a plug-in pole trimmer that’s done the job for years.

It’s an important part of the yard arsenal along with a plug-in blower/vacuum.

Plug-in weed whacker? Yes. And the tools are all different brands. They were on sale when I went looking.

Who else thinks, ‘I don’t need that, but it’s on sale.’

The weed whacker brand is one the experts said to avoid for their short lifespan. Short life? Mine is going on it’s third decade and still ready to skin my shins.

In The Beginning Of Tool Accumulation

When my wife and I moved to a nice suburban ranch with a yard and out of a gritty SE Portland apartment she had a better tool box than me.

Her step-dad loaded it with the most useful tools from his mechanic’s collection of gear.

I had a screw driver, a hammer, and a bike repair kit.

My bike was my main mode of transportation when I moved to Portland, which was normal.

My mom once asked what kind of woman I expected to attract on a bike.

I understood the question, she didn’t understand the answer.

“A biker bitch, Ma.”

“Am I supposed to impressed?”

About a week after my future wife and I decided we could be something special she bought a bike. Very impressive move if you ask me.

I started visiting junk shops and ‘Guy Stuff’ garage sales picking up useful tools like drills and saws.

And a hedge trimmer.

Everything was plug-in. Battery powered tools were on the far horizon.

Over time I’ve sawed through most of my extension cords on accident. You’d think I’d pay better attention?

As long as I didn’t saw myself or anyone else I was happy. Cords with black tape were/are common.

After over thirty-five years of hacking and chopping I still haven’t sawed myself, but the cords were bugging me.

So I splurged and got a battery powered blower a year or so ago.

The problem wasn’t the battery life but the time it takes to recharge. The remedy? Buy two expensive batteries.

Tool Evolution 2023

Two twenty volt batteries for one leaf blower?

Now I could go where no man has been without crushing everything along the way with a thick extension cord.

With the distant mess I’d use two extension cords that always came unplugged somewhere along the line.

Not any more.

Then I thought, ‘Why not get a cordless pole trimmer for the batteries?’

Genius, right?

There I was in my local Home Depot’s yard tool aisle looking for DeWalt stuff.

It was on the other side of the aisle from the Milwaukie tool shelves.

A Milwaukie rep who’d just done a demonstration pointed it out for me like I was a clueless baby boomer. I thanked him.

But the piece I wanted was locked behind a thick metal screen.

Me: Who’d think they could steal a hedge trimmer?

Rep: You’d be surprised. Addicts steal everything and get away with it around here. In Beaverton the police actually arrest thieves.

The trimmer’s price was $175. Too much? At least I wouldn’t need to buy new batteries, I hoped.

I decided to check amazon prices, but before I whipped my phone out a Home Depot lady turned the corner and walked toward me.

No way I was paying too much for a tool I already had in its primitive version, but . . .?

I was there, the trimmer was there, and a salesperson was approaching.

Damn it, I was going to overpay for that trimmer after all.

Me: Hello, I’d like to buy the DeWalt hedge trimmer behind the screen.

Sales Staff: Of course. I’ll need you to go to Customer Service, tell them what you want, then wait until someone can help you.

Amazon Hedge Trimmer To The Rescue?

Turns out I wasn’t getting a Home Depot DeWalt cordless pole trimmer, to my surprise.

I did the math:

One salesperson couldn’t help me; the desk needed to call someone to help me, so that’s two; the person called would be three; check-out is four.

How many people does it take for Amazon to deliver with their supply chain?

A piece on the shelf gets sorted to a bin that’s broken down to locations. It’s boxed up and loaded from the regional warehouse to local shipping where it’s sorted and loaded on a truck for home delivery.

Six pairs of hands minimum.

What is the Amazon difference?

My time.

If the real minimum wage is $30 based on inflation, and I’m a seasoned professional at triple that, then my purchase price goes way up the longer it takes me to put a damn hedge trimmer to work.

Just thinking about it made me feel the burn.

Added all together equals indecision.

Follow me for more consumer advice.