HEALTH RECONCILIATION FOR THE COMEBACK WIN

What is health reconciliation but being able to look in the mirror and acknowledge who is looking back?

If it sounds easy, then you’ve never been down the dark road of reconciliation, health or otherwise.

The important thing is finding peace along the way.

You may get better, you may not, but health reconciliation settles things down for everyone.

How do I know this? It started with a picture.

My wife found a picture of my dad and showed it to me.

“You look so much alike. Do you remember when this was taken?”

I did, but I kept quiet.

“I’m not sure.”

It was a shot I took about a week before he died after a prolonged illness.

I’m not saying it was a bad picture, just one full of memories.

Why did I resemble my dad on what no one would call his best days?

I kept the picture until I could check my look in the mirror. We did look alike, but I gave him the edge.

The mirror reflected a man in his early sixties, me, after going through chemo and radiation until I was deemed done.

Done after dropping sixty pounds in two months, done after avoiding a feeding tube and oxy, done after every breath of air and swallow ignited my throat.

Health Reconciliation Seemed Impossible

What else was I done with?

If I had paid attention better I would have known that ending a course of chemo and radiation was not the finish line.

The roasting process continues to work its way out for a week or so. It’s called the ‘nadir.’

Nadir?

Nadir: The lowest point. The nadir may refer, for example, to the lowest blood count after chemotherapy or the lowest concentration of a drug in the body.

The nurses kept saying I was approaching the nadir of treatment. All I heard was ‘end of treatment, good to go.’

The low point was so low I felt like I was on the way out. And I looked like death warmed over? Made sense.

My health reconciliation began with an intervention from wife and kids, who probably don’t remember it as well as I do.

The Nadir had me and I had to break free. I didn’t know what it felt like to be in the grips.

Joe Walsh explains it from another post:

Joe: … without you noticing, whatever you’re on will convince you that you can’t do anything without it. And then it’s got you.

I wasn’t on oxy because I had a feeling it would get me worse than the treatment. But what had gotten to me was the downward spiral of freaking doom.

“So this is what it feels like to die,” was not a comforting thought.

Don’t Bogart That Brownie My Friend, Pass It Over To Me

After my intervention I went off schedule and nibbled on a cancer-patient-strength cannabis brownie. If weed doesn’t cure cancer, it still might deflect the doom spin?

Medical marijuana got a chance. Did it do the job?

I can say yes with no hesitation. A big YES!

The weed brownies saved the day, which was headed toward assisted living or a hospital bed. I was failing, then turned the corner of health reconciliation.

Non-traditional medicine is as full of the same doubts and scams as traditional medicine. Is this the right way to go? The right stuff? Why would a doctor order this.

The difference is science vs anecdotal evidence.

Science recommended oxy after every procedure. Biopsy surgery? Here’s an oxy prescription.

Chemo and radiation? Big load of oxy. Oh, and by the way, here’s a prescription for liquid oxy in case using your neck muscles to swallow a pill gets too painful.

Liquid oxy was new to me, but seemed even more suspicious. Did I want to trade cancer in my neck for a monkey on my back?

No one’s got time for that.

What to do when you need to mount your own health reconciliation?

The comeback is a fight to the finish, and if you’re not finished, keep fighting.

Step into the octagon for your first lesson on coming back when you’re down.

I was ready to tap-out, but I wasn’t the only one that mattered.

How could that be? After you’re done staring at the stranger in the mirror, look around for those who still recognize who you are.

They matter, too.