GUITAR GLUT: CRACK THE CODE TO FIND THE SOUND

The guitar glut includes too many guitars and too many names. I’m looking at you, Fender.

How many names can you call the same thing. It seems simple enough.

To the uninitiated there are two guitars in the world: big acoustics and smaller electrics with big sound.

That’s like saying there are only two metals: ferrous and non-ferrous. Or two woods: hard and soft.

Like wood and metal, guitars breakdown into multiple levels. I didn’t expect some kind of biological taxonomy of class, phylum, and kingdom, but everything gets sorted one way or another.

Why does Fender categorize their Telecasters in camouflage and smoke? The spiteful answer is to market to an unaware customer base like me; the better answer lays in gaining a learning experience.

The only learning experience I expected was finding a guitar and bringing it home, but a fellow musician schooled me on that folly.

Musician? Is that a little lofty? Loftier than writer? Like a promotion?

What else would you call a flute-o-phone player who graduated to tenor saxophone, then guitar, another guitar, and still looking for THE ONE? We must be hard wired to want that one special something? And want it On Sale.

It’s a little like searching for the Holy Grail, or Noah’s Arc. How little?

Guitar Glut Floods The Search

Have you ever looked for the just the right hammer? The right wrench? Screwdriver? Loads of tool choices for every nut, and bolt. It’s the same deal with a chef and their knives. A knife for this, a knife for that, then cleaned and purified and placed back in their sheath.

Turns out a guitar is as much a tool as any other implement. They’re even called axes in some circles. With that in mind I started looking for a guitar with a neck like an ax handle.

“Unless the neck is shipped to me on a logging truck, it’s too thin,” is one player’s take.

With that parameter in mind I waded into the Fender Telecaster pool. It got deep fast. Since I’m no green rookie I knew the drill. Every guitar I’ve owned came with an extra set of eyes.

This one, THE ONE, needs an extra set and more. Last time I went big my wife and I cruised Tigard Music, looked at the wall of guitars, and chose together. An American Standard 40th Anniversary model in Midnight Wine. On my 40th birthday.

We called it Egg Plant. At least one of us did. We put it on payments to hold it and I dropped in to play. The store fellas would ask, “Are you going to warm up the Egg Plant?”

I sold it fifteen years later and never looked back. From then to now I’m looking forward. In between I played my kids’ rigs from Strat, to Tele, to Epiphone Dot. I haven’t suffered for a great sounding and playing guitar.

At least I didn’t know I was suffering. It hit while I was practicing Foggy Mountain Breakdown. A song I’ve heard and thought, “That’s too much to learn in one lifetime,” got cleared up in a great video lesson.

And I was stricken.

I looked for the right medicine on forums.

A friend offered advice. What’s the best Tele for someone looking for THE ONE.

An American Professional Series? American Elite Series? American Original Series? An American Performer Series?

Which one moves the needle the right direction?

Fender Custom Master Built Telecasters?

Fender Custom Shop?

Private Reserve Telecasters?

Custom Deluxe?

Doesn’t it look like a guitar glut clicking through the links? If not, look at any other makers page.

The friend’s advice:

Pick the Telecaster that suits your budget and your style. Maybe you don’t want to spend a lot, but you want your Tele to have the look and feel of a timeless guitar. Consider the Classic Vibe. Perhaps you want to invest in a true piece of art—not just something to play, but a stunning addition to your collection. Consider a Masterbuilt Tele. Or as a working pro you need a Tele that you can play night after night, show after show—a true workhorse. The American Professional Telecaster won’t let you down.

Confusing news from the industry:

“We’d refreshed American Vintage and transformed American Deluxe into American Elite, and for 2017 we planned to update the American Standard models.

What An Analyst Says About Guitar Glut

“Do you know the sound you want? If not you’ll pay for what you don’t want, pay for improvement, and not be any closer the sound.”

“The Baja Tele, MIM (Made in Mexico) has the baseball bat neck, the ax handle, but it’s discontinued. People say it’s been re-released as the same guitar with a new name and a higher price, but warn that the neck is different.”

“The baseball bat neck, the U shape, is the original Tele neck. Joining it are the Standard C, Deep C, Modern C, D, Soft V, Oval, Hard V, Flat Oval necks, and more.”

“You can spend years looking online, playing them in stores, but eventually you’ll settle on a Telecaster. Why Telecaster?”

“Buy one to play, hang on the wall, or put in its case in the back of a closet.”

“If you don’t know your sound, an expensive guitar won’t give an answer.”

“If you’re starting out, an expensive guitar is intimidating. It wants you to play it now. Anyone who sees it will think you’re a virtuoso. It’ll end up in the closet.”

“Enough playing experience means you can make anything sound decent. Matching ability, expectations, and money to the right Tele, THE ONE, is the challenge. More is not always better.”

“Either buy a Tele as a platform to upgrade as your sound evolves, a vintage Tele you can’t change, or shouldn’t, or the best damn guitar the calls your name.”

After the Egg Plant Stratocaster, this next one feels like a keeper.

But which one is THE ONE?

Could be this.

Or this.

Or this.

Now the guitar glut gets personal.

Comments welcome. Last thing: Did you know Bruce Springsteen’s Tele is an Esquire with the neck pick-up added? I didn’t either.