GOOGLE GAME NEEDS PRO HELP?

Your google game tells who you are?

A new rorschach test?

The old test always looked like a broken spine and shattered hips, but okay.

The new test results would be disappointing. Why?

I use google for spelling, for an auto-correct on my incorrect guesses.

It’s a good spell check.

I do use it for information, sometimes for a blog post, sometimes for random ideas.

I wrote a post, a review for a memoir-piece, a book excerpt, published in The New Yorker.

 

Do the people who get high together, LSD, cocaine, weed, and tequila high all night, stay together?

I’ll break it down. No.

If your love story partner has a eye-dropper for a bottle of liquid LSD, and it’s not 1970-1980, I’d be wary.

And why a glass of water? Come on, find a sugar cube, hippie, or some blotter paper.

Besides, with a glass of New York tap water you might have unexpected side effects.

Do casual trippers have eye droppers full of acid, or that more a dealer’s deal?

Same with the cocaine. Do you share two lines of coke each, or two between you?

From careful research, 1 + 1 = 2, 2 + 2 = I forgot how many lines of coke we hoovered up, but one more can’t hurt.

Don’t forget the ketamine.

(Trade Names: Ketalar, Ketaset, Ketajet, Ketavet, Vetamine, Vetaket, and Ketamine Hydrochloride Injection;
Street Names: Special K, K, Kit Kat, Cat Valium, Super Acid, Special La Coke, Purple, Jet, and Vitamin K)

What happened to the party favorites of the past, the cross tops, the reds, the quaaludes; the uppers, the downers, the spin arounders?

Where’s the guy whose words lag behind their speed-racing mind but they’re trying to keep by talking as fast as they can; where’s the woman who sounds like she’s talking with a three pound tongue?

Where’s the horse tranquilizer, the peyote; where’s the mushrooms, the Molly, the amyl, and inhalers?

Where’s the cough syrup, bitches?

 

Google Game For Drug Search

This is what the kids see when they start having those ideas, like ‘what’s it like to get wasted and fall down?’

A suicide and crisis lifeline doesn’t sound like party time.

Neither does rehab, or AA, take your pick.

I told my kids when they lived in college dorms, I said, “You’re going to be surprised who fucks up and drops out first. Don’t let it be you.”

Why tell them that?

Because I dropped out after freshman year and joined the army before returning with a vengeance, dropping out again, and finally graduating with both kids in the crowd.

The big difference? I was a married man with a mortgage and a family depending on me the last time around.

No pressure, right?

While I didn’t drug-out freshman year, more like afraid of missing something that I would age-out of, I saw the guys who did.

I didn’t drug-out because that shit was expensive, and a dollar got you into an ‘all you can drink’ kegger.

The dorm drug dealers went on to have lives to match from what I’ve heard.

Maybe that’s why the suicide hotline pops up first on a recreational drug search?

 

How High Is Too High

I was eighteen when I graduated high school in 1973.

My cohort didn’t exactly ‘fight the power.’

If there was a rebellion against the parents, I didn’t see it.

It probably helped having a big dad and a 5’10” mom who’d been managing kids since she was twelve years old with two half-brothers.

She was a ‘guilty-first’ mom, ready to kick ass, but she didn’t have sneaky enough kids to do her justice.

One night I was told to stay away from the local college dance, so I had my friends drop me off on their way.

My mom figured I’d be there with them and patrolled the parking lot in her pajamas while I was home on the couch.

Challenging her rules never worked out the way it was planned, which has been a life-guide with authority ever since.

 

Eighteen year old me marched graduation with my girlfriend from sophomore year after we’d pledged to walk together.

I could have gotten out of it. We were no longer boyfriend-girlfriend.

My graduation partner had already graduated to wife and mother-to-be with her new man.

The future was coming fast and all I could think of was I didn’t want to miss out.

College felt like a lock-step to a boring life because I was eighteen and had no idea how hard it was to achieve a boring life.

The professors seemed droopy, my work-study job wasn’t inspiring, my teammates knew their place in the NAIA, I couldn’t afford recreational party drugs.

Eighteen year old me was limited to thinking too big, like anything less than everything wasn’t worth it.

2.

I was in line at the Safeway pharmacy with someone behind me.

I turned and said, “It’s sure different now than it was picking up prescriptions for the old folks in my family. Now I’m picking up for me. Ha, ha.”

They didn’t laugh.

The older baby boomers get, the more they hear about their youth, those golden times of riches and rewards, real or not.

I’ve been living fat for a while, but I made sure to know the difference by living other places before I got it all.

I’ve spent the night in Army barracks, college dorms, and a women’s Co-op.

In 1975 a place in Philadelphia was $60/mo each with a roommate. (Hey Meyers)

A house in Springfield was $75/mo each with three roommates in 1977.

In 1980 a studio apartment in NW Portland was $155/mo.

A house on 1/3 of an acre went for $62,000 in 1990.

3.

Before complaining about the unfair advantages of older generations, why not embrace the current challenges of aging.

Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and watch it return. Takes a little longer than you thought, huh?

Look at the belt buckle holes on your favorite belt. How many are stretched from being a circle to being an oval?

Now take your favorite old shoes and give them a toss.

If they’re old, they’re broken down like you’ll be if you don’t start taking care of your feet with good shoes.

Remember the people you’ve met along the way. Did you treat them right?

If you did then you can pick up guitars and start in like you’d just stopped yesterday.

Take solace from the small things.

I like to tell people that no matter how bad their day is, if they lived someplace new it would seem different.

Different angle, same problems, better solutions.

Follow me for more geometry advice.