GENERATIONAL MEMORY: A BLESSING OR A CURSE

Start writing about generational memory and you’ll need a shovel, then another shovel.

Look into a family history and learn about angels and devils, but mostly angels if it’s told right.

Why angels?

Because the devils argue too much. They all say, “It wasn’t that bad.”

Up here in the Great Northwest, we read about historical events that made America what it is, like the Civil War, and think, ‘Oregon Trail,’ not war.

While the North and the South got set to fight for the soul of America in 1859, Oregon was being added as a state.

During a war that became the deadliest military action for American soldiers, pioneers were breaking ground on their donation land claims.

And they all brought their generational memory with them.

Considering the Oregon Trail began in the border state of Missouri, it’s a mid-western infused memory.

Missouri was so divided on the Civil War issues that both sides tried to claim it as their own. The Union and Confederacy established governments in this state; these divided loyalties led to some of the most intense fightings of the Border states region.

How bad did things have to get in Missouri to make walking 2100 miles to Oregon sounded like a good idea?

How many pioneers were taunted and shamed by their extended family members for running away when things got tough?

Called them out as deserters.

Curse or Blessing?

Common Generational Memory We All Share

Who doesn’t have a brother with a temper who joins others shit-heels in hunting down people they don’t like.

With guns?

And that brother catches you on the wrong side of their line and says you might want to leave the state before you end up dead.

Don’t we all have that funny dad who loved to show off his dog training by commanding his big dog to attack your wife and make it stop a foot away in snapping, snarling, dog spit spewing fury?

A million laughs.

Still with me?

My personal favorite is the history being made in the moment.

This is the story that will be repeated and passed down as additional generational history.

And your part will be included with all the warts and moles unless some do-gooder relative decides to breakout the whitewash rags.

That’s one of the main motivations for writing boomerpdx. Tell your story the way only you can tell it.

To be on the safe side, you might want to start telling the story you want to be remembered for sooner than later.

Fixing Family History For The Bashful

What to do with an old pirate bootlegger hanging around the family tree?

Make him a community activist. Dress him the garb of social awareness.

Do that and change them from a speed demon on thunder road to a delivery man with hand-crafted goods.

You’ve got a marrying man in your family history you heard had seven wives?

You can either call it failure to commit, or a celebration of your inherited pheromones.

He couldn’t help it if women found him irresistible, and each wife in turn understands the effect since that’s what entranced her.

Instead of labeling them in ‘Narcissistic Hump’ file, put them in the ‘Force Of Nature’ section of your personal archive.

You have the name of an ancient aunt that keeps coming up where you don’t want it?

Instead of logging her in as a bitter woman spitefully following her husband’s career while planning and plotting her own escape if the chance presents itself, make her a writer immersed in poetry.

Only an idiot, or an English major, would find fault with that.

Changing Family History Perspectives

Generational history is family history, and it’s the basis of all history.

Do students today learn history by memorizing kings and presidents and wars?

Or do they get a better experience by adding context through different t points of view?

Go back to the American Civil War and the border states that propelled pioneers west.

Does it matter who the King of England was in 1860? Not much, but it was King Edward VII

The King of France at the same time?

Napoleon III, also called (until 1852) Louis-Napoléon, in full Charles-Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte, (born April 20, 1808, Paris—died January 9, 1873, Chislehurst, Kent, England), nephew of Napoleon I, president of the Second Republic of France (1850–52), and then emperor of the French (1852–70). He gave his country two decades of prosperity under a stable, authoritarian government but finally led it to defeat in the Franco-German War (1870–71).

Don’t worry, there won’t be a quiz.

The point is dealing with generational history in a good way.

If your family has a curse, a grudge, a misunderstanding that turned into a border state-like animosity, what should you do?

Dress it up nice and pretty.

Your step-mother had so many kids that she alienated half of them part of the year so she didn’t have to see them all at once.

Was she an emotional manipulator, or a solid family manager?

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Your poor misunderstood grandaddy used the family car to meet his new girlfriends so they’d know he was a safe bet while his wife was pregnant.

Was he a self-centered egotist, or a compassionate family man?

Since we trust and believe the available narrative, make sure you get yours up and running.

Join with me in being the best source you can be, family historian of generational memory.

Start with a Welcome Mat.

Only some people come in layers? No, all of us. And that’s our welcome mat.

From big to small, or small to big, where do you start? Where do you stop? Who does the unpacking?

That’s the answer we work toward.

It’s work worth doing.

Are you up to it? Yes you are. I can tell these things from here.

Roll out the welcome mat of your choice.

Will it be the right one? Yes, if it’s your choice. 

Make it the right one for the right people. You can’t go wrong with a welcome mat.