FUTURE CONSEQUENCES BASED ON CURRENT DECISIONS

Future consequences were on my mind at the corner store.

“What are the chances of anything bad happening?” I said at checkout.

“I can think of one,” the cashier said.

Whether you admit it or not, there are always consequences, planned and unplanned.

For example:

If you’re a young person, or the young one in your circle of friends, you might feel invulnerable to the ravages of age.

And you should. What’s worse than a young person complaining about aging?

“Oh man, ever since I hit forty there are more things I can’t do.”

That’s what forty used to say.

Baby boomers grew up with the warning, “Don’t trust anyone over thirty,” issued by people over thirty.

Who was old in the 60’s? Timothy Leary was born in 1920, Ken Kesey was born in 1935.

Don’t trust anyone over thirty, or don’t trust anyone over thirty on acid?

That’s what thirty used to look like before fifty became the new thirty.

Is it funny, or sad, how aging people identify with new generations?

Are we all the same, or is each new rising generation more gullible than the last?

‘Tune in, Turn on, Drop out’ means something different to an aging academic reaching for relevance in a changing world than it does a seventeen year living under the oppression of their parents.

They may share future consequences, but the kid has a longer stretch of regret if things don’t fly right.

Make A Phone Call

I remember being fifteen and out of the house for a roadtrip with classmates in 1971.

We walked around Eugene, home of the University of Oregon.

On one corner a ragged looking guy was gripping a stop sign for all he was worth to keep from falling down.

Being a small town group not used to seeing people on the edge and walking past, one of the guys asked if he was okay.

“I’m tripping on acid and hanging on until it stops. It’s hard. I don’t know if I’ll make it.”

We walked past a pay phone where another straggly character asked the person using the phone for spare change.

“Could you spare some of the change you brought for the phone?”

“No.”

“No? That’s cool. It’s all good.”

“Yes, it’s all good. Right up until it’s not.”

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Future consequences await us all for our actions. If you’ve ever had to confront yourself in the face of dire circumstances, you know the story:

Do this. Don’t do that. Be careful here. Avoid danger there.

Maybe you listen, maybe not. Either way there’ll be a harvest to reap.

By the way, if you reap a bitter harvest based on your decisions, who do you share it with?

If things turn out wrong and you can’t get over it, whose plate do you drop that shit sandwich on?

And yet we wonder why people shrink back, isolate, go dark?

Among older adults, loneliness increases the risk of developing dementia, slows down their walking speeds, interferes with their ability to care for themselves, and increases their risk of heart disease and stroke. Loneliness is even associated with dying earlier. Among adolescents and young adults, loneliness increases the likelihood of headaches, stomach aches, sleep disturbances, and compulsive internet use.

Current Decisions For A Better Future

How far is too far when people stray off the beaten path and they want help coming back?

First there’s trust. Do you trust them?

If you’ve suffered from their unreliable habits, are they more reliable?

Will the mess they’ve made of their life turn into your mess?

People who give until hurts get hurt.

If that’s you, what do you do about it? What’s the remedy?

This is what I’ve done with future consequences:

I graduated from high school and went to college on a wrestling scholarship.

One year later I joined the Army for a tryout on the All-Army Wrestling Team.

Why? Because I’d won a state wrestling championship, then gained all-American status for placing third in the biggest national high school tournament held at the University of Iowa.

I was a Greco-Roman champion and needed to find out if I was any better than just lucky, which was how I felt.

Getting stomped in college helped. But not enough. Getting my ass handed to me at the Army tryout helped even more.

I give myself credit for making a run. That it didn’t go the way I’d planned is secondary in the long run.

My plan was all about self-discovery, and I found out plenty.

I threw myself into the storms of life and found I was resilient enough to survive and discover more outlets for my wandering heart.

What that means is I met and married my life partner and love at the right time after moving from Brooklyn, New York to Portland, Oregon.

I had a dream job that helped pay for college, a degree in American history with an emphasis on NW History and a Latin American History minor.

I poured myself into marriage and we found more to pour into our kids.

That they’ve grown into the sort of men I’m proud to stand with are the sort of future consequences you hope for but dare not speak of.

They are my personal Bomb Burrito, Whole Nine Yards Burrito, and Chicken Chimichanga all wrapped in one.

Who are yours?