FIRST FATHER’S DAY?

If this is your first Father’s Day keep a few things in mind.

It’s not a birthday, Christmas, or any day you’ve had before.

Dad’s across the nation have had the very same day, but they all took did it differently.

No dad is the same, after all.

You will do it your way.

Of course you’ll hear helpful tips from your own dad, father in-law, mother, mother in-law, brother, and sister’s in-law, and everyone you know.

Just remember they mean well, all of them.

Once you get past the rope and make it into Club Father’s Day, you’ve joined the brethren of men with children.

Drinks are free and the food is always delicious; the women are beautiful and the kids well-behaved.

For one day you can put aside your caution and concern and let the love flow your way.

A first timer’s Father’s Day can be daunting.

“What do you want to do?”

“Can I make you your favorite breakfast?”

“Shall we take a walk?”

The wrong answer is, “I want to be alone.”

 

Father’s Day Rules Say: No Alone Time For You

The dad who says they want to be alone on Father’s Day has always valued their alone time.

Some value it so much they get divorced and abandon their kids.

If that happens all they’re doing is setting the stage for a future moment.

See, kids remember that shit.

They remember it for decades, remember it every time someone asks about their dad, and it’s not a great reminder of how things turned out.

But strong kids find it within themselves to forgive a negligent dad, or should.

Not everyone’s cut out for the dad job where kids only serve to show their failure in life, so they fade into mystery.

 

My dad got divorced and remarried a woman with adult kids younger than me.

Did I like sharing my old man? Not at all. He was my dad, go find your own.

But he was a good guy and saw his new wife’s kids needed some steady guidance.

So we had to let go a little bit, then a little bit more, until he started letting go.

He was a good dad who hung on as long as the could.

The former Marine turned insurance adjuster had a big roll in his kids’ lives, bigger for some than others.

 

The #1 Rule For Dads

The big rule for dads, the #1 rule, is holding your kids above all other people their age.

Make your kids a priority, not an afterthought, an inconvenience, or someone you can’t quite remember no matter how hard you try.

I’ve been asked why I babied my kids, didn’t miss parent-teacher meetings, watched their practices and games.

Why? Because I was a youth sports coach for a lot of the guys who kept  playing with my kids and I enjoyed seeing them get better.

And I was an engaged parent.

Why did I really baby my kids? I kept up with them so I could talk to them about their lives, blame them for my problems, and ask what they’d do if they were me.

In other words, I did it for selfish reasons, to be wanted, needed, to be loved.

Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
See you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’)
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I
See you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’)
Feelin’ all alone without a friend
You know you feel like dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’)

I used the same approach with my caregiving work with a Parkinson’s patient with dementia.

I told my father in-law my problems and asked for his help.

Reaching out helps them focus on solving their problems.

What were my problems? I just made stuff up in the moment to keep things rolling, you know, engaged.

Eventually the kids started asking if what I told them was true, which was a positive outcome.

 

2

The top picture shows a group of fathers celebrating together.

Someone they trusted like a father told them to storm the capitol, and like the good boys they are, that’s what they did.

Why bring this up? On Father’s Day?

If you have someone in your life who is attracted to a father figure bigger than life, but you don’t get it, tread carefully.

The men in the picture above are a result of a failed father, absent father, or maniac father.

They heard a neophyte politician command them to action from a platform he didn’t understand.

There is a certain group of people who automatically associate political success with God’s will.

Instead of working to know if their heaven-sent savior in a blue suit and red tie basks in eternal sunshine, or the result of a media push from contract troll farms, true believers see the highest office in the land through Jesus tinted glasses.

A good father would explain to their middle-aged sons that they are not under any obligation to act on suggestions they hear on television, hear in the audience, or hear from a militia-recruiter.

The laws of the land work to keep ‘we the people’ out of each others’ shit, and when we misstep, to find a speedy way to clean things up.

More than 1,265 defendants have been charged in nearly all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

Approximately 718 individuals have pleaded guilty to a variety of federal charges, many of whom faced or will face incarceration at sentencing.

If the old dads couldn’t get through to their rowdy insurrectionist bent kids, what did those men tell their kids?

After the riot, Reffitt returned to Wylie, Texas, exuberant and boastful about the experience, but once he learned about the FBI dragnet he warned his family to forget what he told them, reports said.

“If you turn me in, you’re a traitor and you know what happens to traitors … traitors get shot,” the 48-year-old told his son and daughter, according to the man’s wife, who cooperated with the FBI.

Father’s on Father’s Day, and every other day, need to show restraint in following violent suggestions from a soft old man working overtime to portray his hard parts.

When a man asks for work that involves cooperation with world governments, putting forth sound policies, and creating social justice by lifting the lowly, it should be someone with an interest in the job, not someone more interested in their hair, their shower head, or their parole officer.

A person seeking the job of a nations top lawman and moral guide, the Great Father, shouldn’t have thirty-four felony convictions and a rape conviction.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always seen felony and rape as a sign of someone out of control, not someone anointed by our Father which art in heaven.

When you vote for a president, choose the one who will lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

That’s a First Father’s Day wish. Okay, let’s go.