Fighting Chuck Palahniuk, And Portland Inertia

 

 

I didn’t have anything to prove by fighting Chuck Palaniuk, but I did with the fight against inertia on a Sunday where the NFL was on TV and Wordstock was happening on the park blocks. It was a good day to do nothing and there was plenty to back up doing it.

 

But every citizen has a responsibility. One of mine is participation in civic events, like fighting Chuck Palaniuk.

 

How can you know your state if you don’t know the city. Shouldn’t anyone who claims to be a New Yorker know Manhattan? Oregonians ought to know Portland the same way.

Instead of a big city full of big city weirdos you only tolerate when you feel you have to, Portland is a city full of small town moments.

 

One of them happened Sunday at Powell’s City of Books on NW Burnside and 10th.

 

Part of Portland inertia is knowing how close you live to the city and the woods. You can be in the middle of what looks like nowhere one hour, and the middle of the city an hour later. Make it a half hour with good traffic.

 

 

Half an hour later?

 

 

It’s important to be calm and collected when meeting big time writers. Just be normal. Don’t pitch them your newest project like they’ll have an answer to any of your questions. Like what sort of questions?

 

 

“Hello Chuck, thanks for coming out on a Sunday. You’ve got the best book signing event I’ve ever been to. Speaking of books, Chuck, I’m 75,000 works into my memoir called Licking Cancer, the Full Response. What do you think?”

 

I didn’t ask that question, but if I had, Chuck would have had a good answer.

 

“Do you think 75,000 words are enough?”

 

From a recent Willamette Writers meeting, Portland members learned writers only have two questions to ask themselves: “What do I want to say?” And, “Have I said it?”

 

 

“Is seventy five thousand words too many?”

 

 

“I’ve beaten 75K words out of myself. I don’t need any more help. Oh, I do? Then let’s dance.”

 

When you know Portland, you know to pick up a few things on the way back home after fighting Chuck Palahniuk.