FATHERHOOD QUESTIONS ANSWERED: WHO’S YOUR DADDY

Fatherhood questions come up all the time.

But they change for dads as they age.

If you heard them early they sounded one way; but if you heard them later?

“Do you remember what you thought when you learned you’d be a father?”

Of all the fatherhood questions, this was the easiest.

“What did I think when I learned I was going to be a father? Well, I didn’t have to worry about birth control.”

A better answer would have been about joy and expectations and the thrill of it all. And to be sure, it was all of that.

But my wife and I had planned on starting a family together. Part of the plan was timing.

We even had a plan for our second baby before the first was even born.

At least one of us had a plan. It wasn’t a Man Plan.

Father’s Day For Moms With Fatherhood Questions

My dad was twenty-two when he married my mom.

He was a Marine who came back from the Korean War with valor, medals, and nightmares.

She was eighteen, graduated high school at sixteen, and a year of college.

First one son, then fourteen months later another.

The doctors told them their second child was a girl. They were wrong.

A couple of years later a doctor told them their child that wasn’t a girl had dwarfism.

They were wrong. Again.

How wrong?

6’3″ and 225 lbs wrong.

I was thirty-one when I married my twenty-nine year old fiancé.

We had two kids in the next five years.

Raising them was the ride of a lifetime for this dad. My pride and joy, but all credit goes to their mom.

We’ve been married, and stayed married, for thirty-six years.

It’s been great, but since the wife has been married to me, she’ll have the last word.

On Father’s Day 2022 I will celebrate like it’s the day I learned I was going to be a dad.

What’s it take to be a good dad?

Go ahead and follow my lead. (Which is mom approved.)

Make every birthday matter. Set the table, light the candles, sing the song.

Do it every year as long as you can. If you can’t, make sure someone else can.

Things like this matters, even if you’ve decided your kids are too old for such silliness.

Who doesn’t like silliness? But it takes a little work. It takes time.

Most of all it takes cooperation. Dads have to agree, kids have to agree, and moms need to pick up the slack.

The sooner you understand that Father’s Day is a teaching moment for dads, the better it will be.

If you’re a dad who wants to be left alone, pick another day.

You’re a dad who wants to booze it up? Pick another day.

You want to fly your man flag? Keep it in the closet.

It’s Father’s Day and if you screw it up by getting on your soapbox and blasting your True Feelings, espousing your Truth as you know it, you might bring up fatherhood questions.

Being a dad requires having kids. It’s different than being a sperm donor.

Father’s Day matters more to dads who see beyond their own shadow.

If the kids are alright, let them know.

Put them up front, big daddy. Even on Father’s Day, it’s more about them than you.

Failing that brings up fatherhood questions.

Is that a problem?