FAMILY MAN? WHO WERE YOU BEFORE THAT

Every man is a family man until it’s time to do what family men do.

“But, Dave, what do family men do?”

I’ll answer before you ask, because you were going to.

First, a family man needs to have a family to qualify. Either the family they come from, or the family they create. Either is fine.

If you are unmarried and living alone, and have a vibrant social circle, that’s family enough. The idea is looking out for others.

Often, with married people, they resent anyone looking out for them, especially the family man of the house, because there ain’t nothing they can’t do.

And this is the problem, because no one is that guy. You can try and do everything on your own, with a wife and kid watching, but if you really want to stretch, you’ll need help at some point.

We all need a little help on occasion, even the gnarliest, manliest, manly man. Those guys never ask for help, and resent anyone who offers, especially if they are a little different.

A spiteful, hate-filled, bigot would rather scream on someone than accept their help. If you know someone who fits the description, then you know the truth.

In a startling revelation, if a man asks for help, and you take them up on it, problem solved. Right? Unless you help more than they want, like telling them how to do the thing they need help with.

Guys get angry when you volunteer to help, and know more about what’s going on than they do. Ask a know-it-all for help and that’s what you get, a know-it-all. They don’t change.

When know-it-all guy goes too far, they’re presented with options: Shut up, or leave. This ever happen to you? It has me. Did I leave? No, I stayed and helped quietly. I’ve been quiet ever since.

Family Man Draws A Line

What if you’re a family man, but no in your family ever asks for help? If that’s you, the problem is looking at you in the mirror.

It’s hard to imagine everyone in a large family, an extended family, has the same feelings about one member. If you’re the excluded one, and you wonder why, I have an answer.

You. Are. A. Jerk.

No one wants to hear that, and I understand, but the chances are good you’re the problem, not them.

Maybe you’re a little too sassy and give opinions when they’re not asked for.

Did anyone ask for a political opinion? Or did you just spout out, “VOTE BIDEN 2020!”

If a Fox News repeater decides to clue you into the latest news on Hillary’s emails, do you listen with a smile? Or do you ask the Fox Fan to try and express their own opinions instead of parroting talking points from morons?

Don’t do that. If you do, they’ll think you’re calling them a moron, an idiot, a trumpie. And they won’t like it. They may not be able to express why they don’t like it, but they will express something.

Angry, bitter, family men can raise wonderful kids who understand their parents all too well. One son explained his father like this: “Something happened, and this is the result. Dad lashes out about perceived wrongs from decades back.”

Sometimes older men forget that they’d argued a point to death and just keep going. What is the listener supposed to do? The best response is to not engage at the same level of bullshit.

If you’ve boiled down the choices in life between what you love, and everything else, good work. That choice means no shit-talking out of anger. Go ahead and talk shit, but not to someone who is going off. It won’t help.

Future Family

How does a married man with children hold onto his man card?

Some do it by cheating on their wife; some do it by spending more time at work; others have man friends that do things together. Instead of grinding away on the Homefront, they take hunting and fishing trips.

The first rule for family man is decency. Be a decent person and you’ll have a better outcome. One former family man told this story:

“Two buddies used to take fishing trips together every year for a decade. Their wives marveled at their friendship. What the guys did was drive to Nevada and spend a week and a half going to as many whore house ranches as they could.

“On the way home they’d buy a whole fish in a store and stop at creeks and rivers along they way. One of them would hook the fish on a line while the other took pictures of them landing it.

“They got home safe and sound and showed pictures of their fishing trip. They were biting hard this year. All good. In time, they aged out of that behavior.”

That’s not what married family men do. Instead, they look after their wife, their kid, and themselves. In that order.

So be a good man, Vote Joe Biden and blue, and ask your wife if she needs help with anything. You know she does, and so do you.

Work together.