FAKE LIFE: HOW TO KNOW IF YOU’RE BEING DEKED OUT

Living a fake life, a double life or more, comes with a few problems when you’re found out.

And you will be found out since people like to talk.

But what if you’re on the receiving end of a fake life scammer? Who do you blame?

Not yourself.

If your loved one acts suspicious, is it right thing to check on everything about them, who they call, who they spend time with?

Or, come right out and ask if they’re a double dealing, snake bellied, no-good?

A good question to start comes right out of Parenting 101: “Is there anything you want to tell me? Anything I need to know?”

No finger pointing, no accusations, just a normal question. If you don’t get a normal answer, like, “No, there isn’t,” stay tuned.

When I was young and inexperienced, a wise man said this about an unhappy couple: “At least them being together saves two other people.”

I didn’t understand then, but I do now. If you’re the loving, caring, person you’ve always been, keep it up. If you’re trying to reach that goal, keep working. But if you’re a lying, double life living, promise breaking man or woman, keep reading.

Fake Life Consequences

The pain created for victims by someone living a fake life are all expected to ‘get over it.’ Easy to say, but how does that work?

How does anyone learn, relearn, how to trust again. If they can do that, how do they fall in love again?

Listening to familiar music, reading good books, getting rest and exercise, eating better, are all helpful. Renewing good living habits helps everyone. Then, when you meet someone special you’re got a clean slate.

A clear mind helps decide when the time is right to talk about the past. Do you like talking about the past? It’s important, and more important if it’s a challenging history.

Then What?

I met a woman who had lived a good life, but it was also one without a solid relationship. From high school friends to college, she had friends, boyfriends, but like many others, no one lasted.

Her boyfriend at the time was interested in meeting other people, people I knew. Since I was a single man in my twenties, I knew a few people, some of them women of character. And he wanted to get to know them better.

Those were not good days for a meaningful relationship, and it faded. After the dust settled, I said a few things to the woman. Then a few more. And she believed me. She said a few things back, and I believed her.

After enough time passed, we gathered friends and family on a cold, wet, day, and said, “I do.”

Three decades later, we still do. Being a good husband doesn’t make me an expert on fake life, but it lends some credence to warning to others.

Be sure of who you spend time with if you’re looking for a long term partner. Go with your feelings, but still double check with experience. If you’ve been burned a few times, you know the deal.

Learning to love again after a few deep cuts takes courage. Be brave.