FACEBOOK DATA SALE: KNOW WHEN YOU’RE ON THE AUCTION BLOCK

via www.fossanalytics.com

Sharing has its drawbacks. Like a literary critic reading a book and coming to a different conclusion than the author intended, we share events and locations and feelings on facebook, and it gets misinterpreted by data harvesters.

Search for a car and suddenly the car you’re searching for shows up on facebook ads. Like magic. Mention a place you like and you start seeing ads. Like magic. That part works.

The magic that doesn’t work is the third or fourth party collection of likes and comments and shares to build a composite character. It’s not anyone you’d recognize, but they’re still familiar, and that’s close enough.

Too close?

As a test I posted the following under a video that promised to show a Fox news lady with a gun in her yoga pants. As usual I skipped the video and read the comments before adding:

This could be the answer to a question I’ve been mulling over: Why do Fox news ladies look like they’re dressed for a high end cocktail party, and why do the men have a boozed out layer of fat on their faces? Then it came to me.

The goal isn’t news or information as much as it is making deposits in separate spank banks for male and female viewers. Dudes get fired up over a gun in a ladies pants, women get fired up looking at Tucker Carlson’s mug. They get so enthralled they can’t understand what the hosts are doing or saying, just that they are so sexy.

If you have Foxy News friends, now you know what to give for Christmas: soft, absorbent, tissue. Gun in yoga pants? Really? Guys like to see a woman enhance the package more than they do? Okay, add an extra pair of tube socks for stuffing along with the tissue.

One reader said he never wanted to be a gun so bad, reminding me of the Prince Charles comment recorded while he told his girlfriend he wanted to live in her knickers. Romantic, right, until another reader wondered why anyone would want to be a tampon ruined it.

Charles: “Oh god. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!”

Camilla: (Laughs.) “What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers?” (Both laugh). “Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers.”

Charles: “Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck!” (Laughs.)

Camilla: “You are a complete idiot!” (Laughs.) “Oh, what a wonderful idea!”

Will I find Kleenex ads on my wall? Tube socks ads? Fox news ads? I can’t wait to find out.

via .abs-cbn.com