DOWNSIZING DOWNER: I’VE BEEN LIVING IN TRASH AND DIDN’T KNOW IT. ARE YOU?

 

Downsizing Downer Part One:

 

Storage closet. Hardwood. 3 hinged doors. 5 shelf interior. Curved top. Three-dimensional painted front. Large storage capacity interior in a stylish format. European designed import probably, 1940s 1950s.

 

In other words, a converted armoire barely hanging together by sub-standard euro-fasteners that evolved into an ‘entertainment center’ then a ‘storage closet.’ A mini-mini-mini-storage treasure warm up before millennials throw it all away.

 

The front started out painted in a quarter saw trompe l’oeil masterpiece of deceive-the-eye magic. A high gloss finish made it so deep it felt like you could walk in.

 

The refinish work turned 3D into 2D, but still nice. And sturdier than expected even though it had some play in the joinery. One time some houseguests decided to rearrange the TV, DVD, and sound box. I came home to find my stuff dangling from newly diagonal shelves.

And it all went back together.

 

When it was time to go, the best offer came from a company that charges to pick up junk. Junk? I hung up. I don’t live with junk that holds more junk captive behind once magnificent doors. Junk? Ha.

 

I took it to Goodwill and it was the standout piece in the off load pile.

 

Downsizing Downer Part Two:

 

Oak china cabinet, solid wood, full length glass shelves with grooved plate display, mirror back, lit top. Bottom with 4 door cabinets and two shelves.

 

What I didn’t say, and was painfully obvious, was the cabinet was an over-milled mess made to look like poured epoxy with a stick-on oak image finish. If this cabinet burned it wouldn’t give out toxic fumes, just regular smoke pollution like good wood.

 

I remember this cabinet in my mother in laws stylish Culver City dining room, the one with the beveled glass table with corners sharp enough to make you bleed if you’re not cautious. Or poke a toddler’s eye out.

 

Along with the sort of light fixtures that bling harder than the loose ice at Shane “You’ve got a friend in the diamond business” Company, the cabinet had enough sparkle to outshine any crazy diamond. When Judy loaded it with her crystal glass collection the dining room looked like the center of a nuclear reactor.

 

Even though I broke a corner of the back mirror in the move, I could tell it was a find by the way the Goodwill guy brought out the special cart. It was gone by the next trip, probably moved to the superstore treasure room.

 

The piece in the top pic is up for $500. One buyer asked me to hold their certified bank check until the payment cleared. All I heard after closer examination sounded like an offer from a Nigerian prince asking for help and ready with a reward.

 

What’s your downsizing downer best? Better than living in what society calls trash? I was shocked.