DAD POWER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SUPER

Dad power comes from men who know the secret of being a dad.

It begins in denial.

“I’ll never have kids, I’ve got enough problems.”

Then curiosity.

“I’d be a better dad than anyone I know.”

The final straw?

“I think my girlfriend would be a great mom.”

That’s it. That’s the entire post. But why stop there?

Dads never stop.

Once you’re a dad you’ve joined the movement, the group, whether you know it or not.

Younger dads can get caught up in the manly aspect of dad-hood. It’s a good reminder.

Some of these guys are working through their own childhood wins and losses at the hands of their own dad.

One grown man expressed his disappointment in his own father because daddy never let him win any games. He didn’t get into what games, so I listened for a reference.

But there was no reference, just the lifelong butt-hurt of having a dad who didn’t know his son needed a patsy to roll over so his boy would have some self esteem.

I’ve been a dad, a working dad, a stay at home dad, a coaching dad, and it never occurred to me to throw a game so one of my kids would feel better about themselves.

Dad Power For Self Esteem

We all went to the State Fair one year. Mom and dad enjoyed the place setting competition. You know, how to set a table the proper way.

We like it because of the judges remarks. They’re not comedy writers, but let’s just say some place settings are not table worthy.

That year had an NBA themed section with a half court set up for free throw contests. I took my kids over to show them how I did it in college. (I wrestled in college.)

My kids were 10 and 8. I was their youth sports basketball coach.

I paid the man for ten free throws, made two, air balled three, and made clean misses on the rest. (Didn’t give it enough leg?)

Then my oldest stepped up. The man in charge asked if I wanted to move the line up for my kid. I said ask the kid. The kid said no and drained nine out of ten.

Did anyone mention my self esteem? No. Did I take revenge and demand a rematch? No. Younger kid didn’t want to shoot, but he celebrated the other one’s sharp shooting.

We all celebrated because it was a worthy moment, even if the celebration included my performance.

“You should have seen Dad shoot. He was awful.”

The secret of Dad Power is giving your best and tipping your hat when your kid does better.

Heckling children is never a good look.

Dads Working With Kids

A dad fear that never leaves is whether or not you make things too easy.

We bought a new couch one year, the first piece of new furniture for the young family. Until then we lived on the scraps and discards of others. (I still miss the old recliner my mom gave us.)

Wife and I decided early that we wouldn’t turn into the parents who buy nice things, wrap them in plastic, and never let kids anywhere near them.

If they ruined something it was a teaching moment of value since the furniture we had was already on the way out

The new couch was dipped in scotch guard just in case.

The first night it was in the house I made spaghetti. It came with a side of lecture.

“This is the best couch we’ve ever had and I don’t want anything spilled on it. We’ll be careful, okay?”

When I sat on the couch with a plate of food it somehow all slipped off my plate and landed on the center cushion. Is spaghetti on the couch a mess? Every time.

And it was a learning moment. For me.

They’ve never forgotten it, and let me know. Call it working together.

Fast forward twenty years and I’m at my kid’s house for dinner. I’m on the couch chewing green gum. I put the gum on the back of my left hand after I got a plate of Hello Fresh goodness.

When I stood up after I finished someone noticed a smear of green something on the couch arm.

My gum. How did it get there? No one knew. I had my suspicions.

How to take gum off a fabric upholstered couch?

At least it wasn’t dad power spaghetti?