COURTROOM FASHION HITS AND MISSES

What Styles Say In Courtroom Fashion.

via tynesidecinema.co.uk

If you go to court for a serious offense, take a good look around.

Who looks like a good cellmate. You’ll want to know in case things go horribly wrong.

Yoga pants in court? Fanciful and fun for the gym, dojo, or Safeway, but court? Not so much.

There’s good sense in courtroom fashion.

From appearance alone you can tell who shares your level of personal hygiene, manners, and that’s just the beginning.

While you wait, ask your new friends what brought them there.

If they say “parole violation” and “the DA hates me” stop talking.

If you look dressed for church and everyone else is dressed to party, they aren’t your people.

Air Jordans in city hall are not good courtroom fashion.

What should you wear?

Suits? People in suits are public defenders, hired lawyers, or like you they have a legal problem.

Where people sit together talking, decide who is the criminal and who’s there for support. Odds are good one of them is cleaner than the other. And it’s probably the one you don’t choose.

A big part of courtroom fashion is trying not to look like a yard cruiser.

Don’t wear old clothes and stand against a wall with one shoe sole resting on the back wall.

You’re not there for prison practice.

People leaving the courtroom well dressed with official ID scan the defendants. We suck and they know it. They see it every day.

An accessory to courtroom fashion is handcuffs.

You don’t want to walk in without them and leave in them.

Most courtrooms are indoor affairs. You don’t need a pork-pie hat, a do-rag, or a backward ball cap. Leave the head dress home for better courtroom fashion.

The nice couple you see with a man in a suit are not Super Pimp and his best girl. That’s a stereotype found in Hollywood. And it’s racist. Racism is not a good courtroom fashion statement.

If you’re in court for two counts of theft with a possible 2 year stretch and $12,000 fine, don’t show up looking like you could rob the judge without him knowing.

Remorse is a good courtroom fashion.

No matter what you’re summoned for, it’s not a reward for good citizenship.

In the waiting room you’ll see a few open windows with signs.

“Municipal Court” is the check in window.

“Administration” is back office processing.

“Cashier For Water And Sewer Payments” is for late payments on, well, you know, water and sewer.

Mail that check in of else you’ll feel the flop sweat of court waiting.

A DUII is not a small thing, but showing up in a crowd accused of driving while suspended, unpaid court fines, robbery, and general screwing up is enough to hammer the seriousness in deep.

American courts are full of cheaters, edge cutters, liars, and “I didn’t do anything” types.

Make a mistake and you’ll be spending more time with the gang than you planned. Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern.

Young or old, the court sees you in the eyes of the law. So look good brothers and sisters. Courtroom fashion makes a difference.

The orange overalls of the county jail are another fashion matter.