CONSISTENCY HABIT? WHAT YOU DO IS WHO YOU ARE

If a consistency habit sounds like one step away from living in a rut, then you’re doing it wrong.

A rut, or living in a rut, is the hole you’ve been digging. When life said ‘Dig in’ you started and never stopped, never asked why.

That’s a rut you’ve been plowing, my friends, and I’m not saying it’s a bad way to go.

A consistency habit only means examining the rut before picking picking up the shovel for another day.

Keep digging, by all means, just try and understand what’s going on.

What’s going on? Let’s ask Marvin Gaye:

Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today

2

How do we find a way to bring some lovin’ here today? One way is to look into the eyes of a baby and consider the world they will live in when they are your age.

I’ve got a consistency habit of looking into my granddaughter’s eyes and the feeling is overwhelming. Of course looking into her eyes is easy since she finds my mask and glasses so interesting.

It starts out sweet and innocent in my arms, then she makes a turn and springs with all of her mighty baby strength to make a grab while I’m leaning back and dodging her hands like Muhammad Ali in his prime.

I saw news clips from Afghanistan yesterday where people held babies up near a wall for soldiers on top to grab and evacuate. They looked the same age as my grand baby.

What’s going on when parents hand their babies over to strangers in uniforms because that’s a better life for them? Who could that? People who see a dark time coming.

Who You Are Is What Your Consistency Habit Produces

I’ve seen people, you have too, who are different than how they appear.

A scrawny high school kid mopes from class to class until the end of the school day. Then they go to wrestling practice and turn into King of the Room, taking on all comers and dreamers who want to be King one day.

Just not that day.

“You feeling good about your chances?”

“I’m taking you down.”

“Let’s go.”

2

I met some of the nicest guys when I joined the Army. Great guys until one of them was given proxy-rank and responsibility over the rest of us. Then they turned into Sgt. Rock and got all hardcore to suck-up to the Drill Sergeants.

They didn’t last.

“Gillaspie, drop and give me twenty.”

“As long as I’m down there why not make it interesting you fat fuck.”

“Give me forty.”

“Can you count that far? Did they teach numbers where you come from you hick?”

“Give me sixty.”

“I’ll count for you, jackass. One, two, three.”

After sixty straight the proxy said, “I can’t believe you just did that. I couldn’t do that.”

“Rule one: never ask the men to do something you can’t do. That’s leadership. You ought to practice.”

3

Father, father
We don’t need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today

A family friend with kids had his young son on one of the youth sports teams I coached.

His kids were friends with my kids, his wife a pal of my wife.

After a game he followed me into the parking lot, never a good sign.

“Why did you pull my kid out of the game?”

This was a non-sport dad, which is tricky.

“I put him in situations where he could grow and become a better basketball player.”

For every youth sports zealot, that’s the goal of youth sports, not winning the most games so Coach can hang a plaque on his Wall Of Fame.

“You should play him more.”

Playing time?

“As a coach I’ll keep your kid engaged and enthusiastic about playing.”

“He is.”

“As a dad I encourage you to shoot and pass and work with your kid.”

“I do.”

“As a friend this is bullshit and you’re buying the beer.”

“As long as my kid gets more playing time.”

Consistency Habit For A Better Life

Mother, mother, everybody thinks we’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today

One of my favorite twitter follows, @tcboyle, follows a consistency habit every day before his work time. With regular images of an egg, the morning check-in, the dog, and a good looking wine pour in the early evening, it feels like an attempt at grounding a rambling mind.

And it works. I don’t understand it, but I do understand how to not understand things.

Instead of going on a tear of discovery, emailing, posting, trying to get into his routine, I read his twitter and buy his books. I’m good with the mystery of, “Why?”

My need to know is based on my interest level, which is limited to the work produced, not a contrived persona.

Take this blog for example. It models a consistency habit because I put in the time.

What are you spending time doing? Does it define you?

Asking for a writer friend.