COMMUNICATION BLIND SPOT IN THE EAR

via basketballforbeginners

Long married couples carry a blind spot in their ear on certain topics; they’ve talked about things, or only one thing, so often the momentum of communication is too great to stop.

Try and reset the bar of understanding on those things in the blind spot. It might be the best gift you could ever give. How many people get divorced based on nothing to talk about anymore?

Let’s be honest, it’s not the talking part that fails, it’s the listening part.

Fails for me all the time. Lots of blind spots I work to erase. I hope it leads to better communication, which is always the goal I have in mind, a goal I hope others share. I enjoy thinking of my decades of married life is some kind of proof of good work on the blind spot idea. My own red badge of courage.

Like so many things, what works with one person doesn’t work for all people. I’ve been coached, and been a coach; been on teams, and led teams. The history of kid sports in recreational leagues is full of parents and coaches with control issues.

I’ve never been one of them, but that could be a blind spot. Instead, I worked to show teams the importance of their participation in the longest tradition of all humanity: good, clean, competition, with a reminder of the fun waiting for them on their next team. Soccer to basketball to baseball covered the year.

One year I had a basketball player who couldn’t understand parts of the game, like the lay up line. Since I was the coach so no problem, right? I told the kid the basics, said “watch your teammates on the lay up line and do what they do.”

No one in the lay up line rebounded a ball and threw it down court but this kid. It’s a problem common to youth sports with an easy solution of, “Okay, go get the ball.”

The kid didn’t want to fetch the ball. Instead he got back in the lay up rebound line and threw another ball down the court. The team practicing on the other half rolled the first ball back, then the second.

I talked to the player, then asked if he understood what I said. He said yes, so I asked him to repeat what I said. This the tricky part of coaching. No matter what the kid said back I kept him engaged in the learning moment by explaining what I needed him to understand, then repeated what I’d just said.

This is when you see the blind spot in others, no matter their age. Coaching adults in anything like this, especially friends and family, might result in a bigger blind spot, and they might share it. Instead of a blind spot you might get a blackout. Now, if you don’t want that, find a way to apologize without the jackass drama of, “are you listening? What did I just say? You didn’t hear what I said. Let me tell you one more time.”

Too hard to apologize? Can’t remember how it goes? Give it a try. I will too:

“I’m sorry for running my mouth. I was out of line.”