CLUB BOOMER? ARE YOU IN OR OUT

Club Boomer has requirements, which I’ll get to, but it’s not a specific age.

It’s not finding bliss, either. Or your safe place.

So what the heck are the requirements for membership?

Here’s what I know so far:

Joining Club Boomer is like calling yourself a hippie today and you’re forty years old.

Can a forty year old be a hippie when the Summer of Love was 1967?

Sure they can. Be a flower child, but go light on the patchouli oil.

To be clear, you don’t have to be born between 1946 – 1964 to qualify for Club Boomer, but it helps.

For me, I’m right in the middle. I’ve got the best view from the mid-50’s.

Call Me Mid-Century Modern David.

Gaining admittance to Club Boomer means getting dirty.

You can’t get in if you’re afraid of dirt.

And you won’t get in until you wash up.

That’s me on my Dad’s cow farm near Coburg, image via LC Studios.

It’s a cow farm because he raised pet cows and had a cow graveyard.

You don’t need a Dad with a cow farm to get into the club, but you need to know how to herd.

I learned to herd by watching my Dad’s cow dog, a toy poodle, move cows from the field to the barn.

Gus had their number. He had everyone’s number.

Fitting In With Club Boomer: Volunteer

That’s me in the second row shades, surrounded by my besties. Would you look at that neck?

What are we doing? We’re Being All We Could Be In The Arm-mee.

This is one of the first batches of trainee-soldiers in the new All-Volunteer Army.

I signed up for one thing and got another.

Was I disappointed? Yes. Did I let it show? No.

My company, my platoon, my squad, were full of guys complaining about recruiters lying to them.

“He said I qualified for Air Traffic Control School and I have orders for Cook School.”

I joined to toughen up, to get a tryout with the Army wrestling team following a year of college wrestling and a high school state Greco championship.

That I didn’t make the cut didn’t mean I didn’t have to ‘soldier on.’ (Three ‘didn’t-s in one sentence?)

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I used the volunteer experience to leap into youth sports coaching with my kids and their friends and classmates.

The volunteer army lasted two years; volunteer coaching started in first grade and ended in my youngest’s senior year.

Beides coaching kids the right way, encouraging them to play other sports, practicing with intent, and teaching good sportsmanship, there was classroom volunteering.

I did a program for grade schools on Oregon history. Since I worked for the Oregon Historical Society and carried an American history degree with an emphasis on Western history, it was fun time all around.

The classroom experience, along with coaching, inspired me to apply for a master’s degree in teaching.

I took a prerequisite early childhood development class at PCC with my buddy Al, hey Al, and interviewed in all of the local colleges and universities.

Like my Army wrestling team dream, I didn’t make the cut this time either. Boo.

I made appointments to go back and find a way to be a better candidate.

Try To Take Things In Stride And Move Forward In ‘The Club’

This is my driver’s license picture.

Who complains about their driver’s license picture? Everyone.

Here I am looking like Little Face from the Dick Tracy movie.

I’d just pumped up twenty pounds from a svelte 240 to 260 on doctor’s orders.

The recommendation came after a neck cancer diagnosis.

No matter what you hear about cancer, it being a gift, or an awakening, or a revelation on what to do for the rest of your life, for me it was a green light to hog down like a competitive eater with no concern for health.

Just load up and keep going. Either that or get a hole drilled into my gut for a ‘feeding tube.’

Those were the choices before chemo and radiation. Yes, I will have thirds instead of a tube infection.

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The picture came the day after a ‘fine needle’ tumor exploration that puffed out the left side of my neck more than I was puffing out all over.

I’ve been looking at this picture since 2017 and can’t wait to renew my license.

Club Boomer says know when enough is enough.

Still, it is a reminder of those times.

Play The Club Boomer Card

You could grow a ponytail.

Get a tattoo to go along with your ponytail.

Maybe find a motorcycle to lounge around on.

Learn to play twelve bars like a Delta blues man.

If you’ve maintained a healthy curiosity and manual dexterity, it’s all possible.

But, to be a member of Club Boomer in good standing, you need to pay attention.

Beware of THE MAN, because more than likely The Man is in the club, and the same age as you.

Beware of the Broken Man, the guys who show no concern for the welfare of the people they represent, protect, and serve.

We’ve all heard about people who are rude to waiters and service people and tradesmen?

Who they unload on next is anyone’s guess, but they’ll eventually get to you and it won’t ever stop.

Raise a hand if you know this to be true.

Be the answer to people like this and vote accordingly.

That’s how you get into Club Boomer. I’ll vouch for you if you leave a comment.