CHOOSING SIDES: IT’S MORE THAN SHIRTS vs SKINS?

The secret to choosing sides?

Sometimes you don’t choose, you get chosen, picked.

Then you find yourself standing on one side of a line.

How do you make sure it’s the best side for you when you know the other will eventually look better?

As kids growing up you played backyard football.

If it was your backyard you got to pick a team.

You picked all the chunky kids and the other side laughed.

“We’re going to run away from you all day.”

You picked the big boys because no one is running away if they can’t get off the line of scrimmage.

“Smash ’em on three. ONE, TWO, THREE, SMASH ‘EM.”

But, dear readers, life isn’t served up like a backyard football game.

To start, there are more nuances.

There’s a thin line between winners and losers.

You might not see it at first, but it’s there and it becomes more visible the older you get.

Ask any baby boomer.

Everyone’s A Loser?

Even the Yellow Brick Road had a few stumbling blocks.

No one gets a smooth ride all the way.

If anyone tells you different, check your wallet:

“You too can live a life of ease and luxury with just one small down payment and easy installments the rest of your life. Worry free.”

When you talk to people and really listen to them, feeling their words, their topics, their rhythm, their beat, you learn more about them than what they are saying.

This doesn’t make you savant, a soothsayer, or clairvoyant.

Being a good listener may seem like a superpower in our scrolling, skimming, world, but it’s really just good manners.

People 1: Everything is fine. Besides, I don’t want to bother you with my troubles.

You: That’s okay. Let’s talk.

Or,

People 2: Everything is broken and I don’t know what to do.

You: I’m so sorry. Have you talked to anyone about it?

SOLITUDE, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Laugh, and the world laughs with you
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Everyone’s A Winner?

Choosing sides isn’t as hard as it seems.

Living with the choice? That’s the hard part.

I read an article written by a former dentist who walked away from the profession to be a writer.

They said colleagues warned her that dentistry isn’t something you walk away from.

At least that’s their story. Now they want to share?

Something happened?

WHAT ARE THE JOBS WITH HIGHEST SUICIDE RATES?

1. Medical Doctors
2. Dentists
3. Police Officers
4. Veterinarians
5. Financial Services
6. Real Estate Agents
7. Electricians
8. Lawyers
9. Farmers
10. Pharmacists

Maybe they walked away after a two hour marathon of extracting bits and pieces of an exploded tooth that had been filled and root-canaled?

That’s a walk-away story for Dentist-Writer?

“My last patient? I remember them well. I should have referred them out. It was the most difficult tooth I’d ever seen.”

A killer tooth?

Choosing Sides With Marriage

Why all of the Cowboy pictures? I’m a Cowboy fan, but not by choice.

My Dallas Granddad sent us Cowboy magazines as kids.

We all bonded together watching the Packers vs Cowboys in the NFL title game two years in a row.

My Dad was a Packers man. It was fun seeing him cheer Vince Lombardi’s team.

Words reserved for sports fans: Winners do what losers won’t do.

The first thing I thought when I heard it was cheating, which sounds like a tell on me.

What it really means is training more diligently, eating right, and getting rest.

If that works, you won’t have to cheat. But . . .

I explained this to my wife before we got married.

She wasn’t a sports fan, didn’t get caught up in high school football like her cheerleader friends, but she got it.

I urged her to pick a side, my side, with the Cowboys.

To show her allegiance she got a Drew Brees jersey.

I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. Any jersey is a win. We’re working on it, okay?

Choosing sides with a team isn’t the same as choosing sides in marriage.

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I bail on the Cowboys sooner than the end of the season because I reserve my heartbreak to spread around.

On the other hand, I never bail on my marriage. My wife could say anything in front of others and I agree with her.

We sort it out later, but in the moment I want to show a united front.

If you’re a married man, tell me if this flies:

You hear a tone in your wife’s voice that she doesn’t use on anyone else.

It’s her special Wife-Tone. Not a Mom-Tone, or Friend-Tone, but a Wife-Tone.

When your wife has her friends over and speaks to you in Wife-Tone, two things happen:

First, you answer in a voice that hints that you don’t appreciate the tone in front of her friends.

Second, her friends feel hurt when you ignore their version of Wife-Tone.

The Rules: One wife equals one Wife-Tone. There’s no choosing sides.

No others need apply.

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