CHILDREN LEARN BY EXAMPLE SO TEACH THEM WELL

Children learn by looking to their elders for clues.

Elders don’t always remember the clues when they’re too busy feeling forgotten.

 But, there are reminders.

 

You, who are on the road
Must have a code you try to live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye

I heard the song Teach Your Children when it was new.

Every baby boomer heard it when it was new.

It’s not new anymore, the band has changed, but they still sing it.

 

And you, of tender years
Can’t know the fears your elders grew by
Help them with your youth
They seek the truth before they can die

 

We’re not new anymore either.

We’ve taught our children as well as we could.

Now what? Set an example? Sound off? Hide away?

If we seek the truth before we can die, then we don’t get a break.

The truth isn’t a game of hide and seek where you get to give up at the end and yell, “Olly Olly Oxen Free.”

It’s not holding your breath, sticking your head in the sand, or any other cliche for ignoring what’s in front of your face.

Children learn at every age.

Think of the last thing you learned from your parents. Did they teach you well?

 

Teaching Patience

My father learned patience after my parents divorced.

It still seems a strange thing to say, “after my parents divorced.”

I was one of those who couldn’t imagine divorced parents.

A part of me still can’t, or won’t.

Time has passed, every parent and step-parent has passed, but the whole thing still feels wrong.

Middle-aged romance blossomed and instead of ignoring it and continue living their miserable lives together, ma and pa found new people to live miserably with.

Were they really miserable?

The new husband had a job where he was home for the weekend and on the road during the week as an owner/operator of a big truck.

The new wife brought a squad of kids and ex-husbands with her.

Maybe they weren’t miserable at all, maybe it was just me not wanting to share my mom and dad, not wanting anything to change.

I learned patience when I discovered what all adult children learn after their parents’ divorce.

People take sides, and not always the one you’re on. Then they change their minds while you try to keep up.

My role, one I made for myself, was setting the standard with my wife and kids.

With them as my priority, I made their lives miserable.

With any luck I’ll continue making their lives miserable by showing up, staying calm, being patient.

 

Trying Harder? Good

As a granddad, father, husband, and dog owner, I’ve got plenty nipping at my heals.

Millennials are taking over bit by bit, and as a writer I couldn’t be happier.

The circle of young people I know seem capable and ready for whatever life throws at them.

Many have already handled the hard stuff and didn’t break.

Most are at an age of responsibilities.

If they need any reminders:

 

Teach your parents well
Their children’s hell will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick’s the one you’ll know by

Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you

 

Look at the people you care about and know they love you.

Look at those who care about you. They love you.

Know that they’re doing their best, so just look at them and sigh.

 

PS: If the example you set in Portland, Oregon is placid and benign you’re doing fine with not going overboard on the new kids in town.

 

 

 

 

PSS: Get your priorities straight: Wife? Check. Kids? Check. Dog? Check. Friends? Check. You? Why are You at the end of the line? Start over.