CANCER TREATMENT: 5 THINGS I KNEW BEFORE STARTING

 

 

1. I will submit to the cancer treatment sequence of events that may or may not do what is predicted. Like a lamb to slaughter, I would submit to whatever it took to kill the shit out of hpv16 throat cancer.

 

In the writing world we all dream of that one ‘YES’ that gives us validation, inspiration, the will to continue doing what seems pointless, hopeless, and open to ridicule and humiliation.

 

One ‘YES’ is the door opener. The right one. The sell. Publication. Book tour. Fans.

 

One ‘Yes’.

 

In cancer treatment no one gives the one ‘YES’, so give it to yourself.

 

Are your docs up to speed with the latest cancer treatment options based on the cancer that got you, the size of the tumor bursting from your neck like a mini-Alien?

 

Hint: it’s not a mini-alien. A freaking cancer tumor IS an alien that needs e-rad-i-cation.

 

Make sure the docs you meet are set on the same goal. Eradicating you isn’t their goal, but it will feel like it.

 

2. I will listen to my wife’s advice.

 

She’s a naturopthic doctor who knows things about how the human body works. Call it intuitive. For all of the scans before and after cancer treatment, the PET, the CT, the wife-scan is the most important.

 

If you’re a long married man, the woman you’re married to knows things you don’t know she knows, things she probably doesn’t think she knows, but she knows.

 

If the wife-scan results say get a second opinion, Just Do It. It may save you from further chemo wreckage.

 

3. I will eat like a marathoner the night before their race.

 

Call it cancer loading. Get fat, just know that the amount of chemo you get is based on weight and they round numbers up, now down.

 

The nutritional awareness you’ve gained over a lifetime might seem like a nuisance now. Replace it with images of an Italian cook saying, “Eat wouldja. Whasamatta w’ya. Have s’moah.”

 

Translation: please eat more to create a base of tissue so cancer treatment won’t eat you.

 

EAT!

 

4. I will rinse.

 

If you’ve got hpv16 neck cancer it’s fair to say your mouth got you in trouble one way or another. So do it a favor, give it the best treatment ever.

 

Start with a salt and baking soda rinse. Swish it around in there about five times a day.

 

From American Cancer Society:

 

Rinse your mouth regularly with a salt, baking soda, and water solution (1 teaspoon of baking soda and 1 teaspoon salt mixed in 1 quart water). This helps prevent infections and helps your mouth feel better. Gargle with the mixture to relieve a sore throat, but don’t swallow it.

 

Get a dental check up before things start. The plan is solving a cancer problem, not creating a dental emergency. Your mouth got you in enough trouble, help it out.

 

5. I will be helpful.

 

If you’ve been a helpful person, continue helping. During cancer treatment you’ll need help. At least you’re expected to need help. Anyone who’s known a cancer treatment person knows the drill: help.

 

Even if you don’t need or want help, accept assistance when offered. You may not need a hand right off the bat, but you will, tough guy.

 

From my own ‘gut it out’ days on the cancer rack, I know my way is not for everyone. At the end of cancer treatment and during the recovery, my way sure wasn’t for me. Like every writer in the history of language I flopped event back and forth.

 

If not for this, that wouldn’t have happened.

 

If not for that, this wouldn’t have happened.

 

 

At the end of the day I still had cancer, cancer treatment, recovery, and happily enough, a nice farewell from the cancer docs.

 

“Doctor, do you see any cancer in the post-treatment scan?” I asked.

 

“David, you have had a full response to cancer treatment,” he said.

 

Me: “Could you expand on this idea?”

 

Doc: “Sure. You don’t have cancer.”

 

Me: “No cancer?”

 

Doc: “You don’t have cancer.”

 

Me: “I walk out of here cancer free?”

 

Doc: “You don’t have cancer.”

 

Me: “The cancer is gone?”

 

Doc: “Based on the evidence portrayed in our last scan, the cancer is gone.”

 

Me: “From a scientific point of view, you killed cancer.”

 

Doc:”You have no cancer at this time.”

 

I checked the clock. If you made it this far, check your clock and the calendar.

 

How many cancers have you heard of that you can vaccinate against? HPV16 is one. Maybe there’s more, but this cancer has a series of shots.

 

No vaccination from my end of the age spectrum, but if my kids were the right age they’d be vaccinated. Late twenties is too late.

 

Check the details and make the right call on your kids’s future. Cancer treatment is a bad inheritance.

 

 

Read Michael Becker for more insight.