CAN DIFFERENCE MAKERS CHANGE OPINIONS LIKE YOURS

Difference makers show up at the right time and we all celebrate.

They show up when you get lost, when you’re confused. When you need help, there they are.

But where are they when you’re not lost, not confused? What do they do when you don’t need any help?

Don’t worry, they’re still out there making a difference, because that’s what difference makers do.

But let’s talk about you. When you need help, who makes a difference?

In the past, troubled people could go to their minister, their priest, their spiritual guide. What kind of trouble? I don’t know because I don’t have a go-to guy to listen to my troubles.

Besides, I’m a writer. I figure this stuff out on the page.

People still go to the Lord for understanding. I’ve been to church a few times and have seen the good works.

I met the minister of one church. My wife’s friends introduced me after an Easter service, or maybe Christmas. When we shook hands he tried to knuckle me under. He turned his hand palm down with me in his grip.

I’ve shaken enough hands to know a power handshake.

Add some riveting eye-contact to the arm twisting and it got weird. He didn’t turn my hand on the first attempt, or the second, or the third. It was a long introduction.

And it was my last visit to that church. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience?

Professional Help Makes A Difference

If you’re married, plan on seeing a marriage counselor. It doesn’t matter if you need one or not.

Call it pro-active, a check-up, a review. Why wait? Instead of a last ditch effort to pull a doomed relationship out of a death spiral, go for the experience.

I had one guy say, “Let’s get to work and see if we can save this marriage.”

Right away I knew this one had a pretty high opinion of himself. Gonna save my marriage? Like a hero?

My response was, “That’s good, but we’re not here for the save. We’re here to learn about better communication. We want to add a few new tools to our marriage besides the usual put-downs.”

That set everyone off on the right foot.

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I went to a costume party one Halloween. It was one of the top parties of my life, a real destination party put on by serious party people.

It was adults only and done up in the most elaborate fashion since the year before. I went to three in three years. They rent a space and start decorating three months early.

That year it was held at a nunnery with a religious theme. One room had a small confessional booth with a puppet priest. A hidden man stood behind the booth and worked the puppet.

He had a busy night. I passed by and heard what sounded like official talk between the puppet and the confessor. I’ve never been to confession, but I’ve seen it in movies, and they sounded just like that.

The question wasn’t whether or not the confession counts because it was a puppet. For all anyone knew, the puppet master could have been a priest.

At the end of the day, if it’s good for the soul, then it’s good.

Difference Makers As Friends

I know a man who I consider a visionary.

Like Paul Newman said in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, he sees the world clearly while everyone else wear bi-focals.

This is man with a valued opinion. I’m not alone in that estimation. The guy sees things and takes action.

In other words, he’s busy, but not busy to be busy. He’s busy changing the world in a good way. My kind of guy, yours to if you knew him.

He’s one of the difference makers who change people’s opinions, but instead of shouting from a soapbox, he sets an example.

During my decade of youth sports coaching I had team after team. Why? If you know anything about youth sports coaches, then you know there are some to avoid.

Who exactly?

One is the football coach who likes smacking kids in uniform around, who does contact drills to show dominance.

Another is the hefty soccer coach who shows up to practice in a regulation Man Utd rig complete with shin guards.

Or the wrestling coach who wears a singlet to practice.

My duty was to protect kids from guys like them, and they’re all over the place, along with “My kid is a superstar” dads.

I coached youth teams with the goal of keeping kids interested in sports, in the next season, the next year, for the rest of their lives.

My pal coached teams, but on top of that he was also the Coach of Coaches. In other words he was changing the environment that kills the enthusiasm in some kids.

By working with adults he helped kids. The side effect was making the coaches better people.

In a world that needs better people, he’s making a difference.

The Biggest Difference Makers? You

How can you tell when someone is in trouble?

They join a cult and give everything they own to the leader; they buy a motorcycle, get a tattoo, and an electric guitar, and start grooving to one-string blues and show you their new song every time you get together; or they focus on Fox News and took a trip on Jan. 5 that they don’t want to talk about.

It could be an uncle, a dad, a brother, a neighbor, or the jackass screaming at a grocery store manager about why they should be allowed in without a mask because of their freedoms.

Some you can reach, some you don’t want to reach. But it’s worth the effort.

Start by listening with active feedback. Just listen and talk enough to show you’re listening instead of waiting for them to take a breath so you can start fixing them and their opinions.

When they start winding down, offer a few options. Don’t tell them what to do, what they should do, but give them ideas on what may help them in their progress.

This is most important:

The ‘Don’t Tell Me What To Do’ crowd doesn’t like being told what to do.

At the same time they will take directions from crackpot prophets of false hope and faint praise asking for their money to support a luxury lifestyle ordained by GOD; they will bow down to a bullshit artist spewing nonsensical non-science and history to the under-educated population he professed love for.

Added together, the false-faith minister and self-serving messiah convince women they know more about their bodies than a licensed doctor; they know more about self-defense than an Army veteran.

In my coach of coaches role as THE WRITER, difference makers carry the voice that asks, “Is there a better way” just before a bad decision gets worse.

If I were you, I’d keep someone like me around.

I’d subscribe to boomerpdx, or whatever the new name is.

Where else is anyone asking for help finding a new name?

Be a difference maker.