Two guys, just people who need people.

The beauty of life we agree on: the Mona Lisa, Grand Canyon, and Broadway Oregon sparkle like universal jewels.

You’re seen the Grand Canyon and Mona Lisa, or heard of them. Not Broadway Oregon.

No one’s heard of it. You’re the first. I’m only talking to you.

Kids grew up in small town Broadway the same as anywhere in America. Oregon isn’t that different than North Carolina.

There’s a common thread, but you hope this isn’t it: In Broadway Oregon your best friend robs you. 

It’s sixth grade in Hammer Grade School.

Your bestie of the last three years brings another kid over your backyard fence. He knew no one was home.

They climb onto the garage roof and drop behind the gate near the backdoor.

The always open, come on in, we’re best friends so I can trust you, backdoor.

They sneak in, low crawl under the windows, looking for the collection bag, the money bag.

“His mom keeps it in her room.”

They crawl down the hall to the bedroom, open dresser drawers, touching everything, patting the closet.

“Shake the shoes. It’s got to be in a shoe.”

Not a shoe, but a boot.

Roll of twenties.

“One for you, one for me.”

“That’s too much.”

Roll of tens.

“One for you, one for…”

“Still too much.”

Roll of fives.

“One for…”

“Let’s do this. We each take a dollar. Here’s yours; here’s mine. Now put the bag back in the boot.”

“We’ve already done the work to get here.”

“Okay, I’ll put it back. There, all done. Now let’s get out of here before someone comes home.”

“He’s at a baseball game.”

“Aren’t you on the same team?”

“Well, we couldn’t do this if I was at the game, could we?”

“Let’s go. Maybe you can catch the late innings.”

===

In Broadway Oregon your best friend robs you, but his partner in crime limits the damage.

Like parables in the Bible, this story applies today more than ever.

We hold leaders responsible for their decisions, right, wrong, or wtf. Their administration chiefs find ways to make those decisions work.

For the new Leader of the Free World, voters will decide on Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

Together they’ve electrified the political process with enough juice to jolt an army of Frankensteins to life.

Call them the Deplorables and the Implorables.

One says, “YOU DON’T GET IT.”

The other says, “WHY CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND?”

One says, “IT’S BROKEN.”

The other says, “THAT’S AN IMPROVEMENT ON THE MESS WE STARTED WITH.”

You’ve made up your mind on the blowhards at the top of the tickets?

If you haven’t, then consider Mike Pence.

Trump’s VP choice contradicts the boss, corrects him, shines a new spotlight on Dick Cheney, the same Dick Cheney who played George Bush like a puppet, as his main role model.

There’s a big difference between Mike Pence and Dick Cheney.

Cheney was President Ford’s Chief of Staff before his decade long stint in the House. Two years later he was Bush I’s wartime Secretary of Defense.

By the time he selected himself as Bush II’s Vice President, after an exhaustive search, he had a network in every bureau, agency, and department in Washington. Every staff room, cafeteria, and cubical.

He knew how to pull enough strings to wage a two front war. Every defense contractor and arms merchant around the world bowed down in awe.

Mike Pence is no Dick Cheney, but that’s his goal. Is he the man you want playing Trump the way Cheney played Bush?

Dick Cheney II can’t be a good idea for anyone, especially Donald Trump.

He may not be a good puppet, or Pence a good puppeteer.