BOSS MAN: WHEN THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON STOPS CARING

Boss man is an old term by now. Like Ram Rod, as in, “Who’s the Ram Rod of this operation,” it’s time has come and gone, like Rowdy Yates.

Still, Boss man has power, whether you like it or not, whether it resonates or not.

But, what is a real Boss Man? They come in two basic flavors:

Do As I Say

And

Do As I Do

Do As I Say

If you live in a bubble where nothing affects you, words have less meaning.

You can run your mouth for effect just to get responses, and walk away with a clear conscience. After all, you did what you’ve always done and never worried about it. Why start now?

Trash talking? Blaming? Shedding responsibility? That’s the Boss man playbook from the bubble.

Do As I Do

If this sounds like a mentor thing, you’re not wrong.

The boss in this instance is a teacher, a guide, and yes, a mentor.

With a proven track record of results, who wouldn’t want this boss leading the way? Be like this boss and you might become a boss, too.

Except these aren’t the sort of people who always reach the top of their field.

They do things that matter, that they’re proud of, and run a team with like minded people.

The Follow Me boss is a leader in the field. Once they step into an executive role, things change.

Boss Man Says Just Do It?

I’ve heard Just Do It for years and always think of Nike.

Set a world record? Of course, just do it. Except it sounds easier than it is.

The boss says he wants a project done on time and under budget? Just do it, which is harder than it sounds.

Like a good editor, the boss man in the corner office knows how to cut and trim if their initial plans go over time and budget.

When a consumer expects one thing, and gets another? It could be a result of time and budget. Or just bad planning from someone in over their head.

If proper planning prevents piss poor performance, what happens with poor planning? The shrewd leader calls it a victory, then trims staff to recoup losses and look good to the bigger big guy.

If the project fails, blame the team leader and tell them to adjust to a new budget and fewer employees, like them.

How To Recognize A Boss Man

Whether they are a boss, or someone repeating what a boss told them, they share a common view: they are better than you and want you to know it.

I met a guy, a good guy, and within the first ten minutes he said, “I don’t hire my friends.”

First thought: We’re friends?

Second thought: Hire for what?

Since it wasn’t a job interview, I played along. No, I ignored the hiring thing. This was obviously someone testing new water, testing their new vocabulary.

Third thought: They have no friends.

New Best Friend, Or Boss Man

Another time I was talking to a guy, a good guy with a great take on things.

We had loads in common right away, then he said, “Look, I’m not in the market for a new best friend.”

First thought: Huh?

How trying is it to just talk, exchange views, agree, and enjoy the moment?

Second thought: Maybe they’re the hiring manager for some company and this is a job interview I wasn’t aware of?

This reminded me of the first guy who wasn’t hiring his friends, the one with no friends. Not only did I not get the job I wasn’t applying for, now I’m missing out on a new best friend I wasn’t looking for? Who’s the loser? Who? Yes, I know.

Third thought: Friends matter more to some than others.

How To Be A Friend

After a year of Kindergarten, we all know how to be a friend.

The new kid in class is a mess on the playground? Either make fun of them, or show them the ropes. But what if you’re the playground mess who gets made fun of?

Three groups develop quickly on a kindergarten playground: bullies, victims, and teacher’s pets.

The bullies all have fun until they turn on one another. Once that happens, the former bully tries to fit in with the other groups. They try the victims, the group they bullied the day before. If that fails, they hang around the teacher for protection.

But, a bully does what bullies do, and when they start in on the other teacher’s pets, they get sent back to the playground, misbehave, then end up in the office.

It was as confusing making friends then as it is now.

Navigating Friendship

Has this happened yet? A friend asks for help, and you make a sincere offer.

They need help, but they do things differently than you, so you give help with that, too.

After enough help, the friend says to do things their way or leave. As a true blue friend, you stay and do things their way. It’s not right or wrong, just different and ill informed.

After you decide to honor the friendship, the other person may think they got over on you. They might think they moved from friend to boss man, little b, little m.

Since you are sensitive to the weird ideas others come with, you let it ride until they show their true colors with a demand on your time, the sort of time you spare for friends.

But you’ve run out of time for some things, for some people, and you get called on it.

First it’s a called Strike One. Followed by a called Strike Two. Remember this, when a non-sports guy starts using sports metaphors things get mixed up. Strike guy wants to say something, but they get stuck. Strike three?

To be a competent boss man, first be the boss of you.

Work on it, boss.