BOOMERPDX TO STAR WARS: AWAKEN ME FORCEFULLY WHEN WE GET THERE

The most impressive thing about Star Wars: The Force Awakens? Fan loyalty.

No one is giving away the twists and turns, no one wants to be a Star Wars spoiler.

In shades of The Crying Game, all lips are sealed so far.

After a few failed attempts, I finally saw this installment. Okay, one failed attempt. My kids ditched me, but did it so well I couldn’t complain.

My Star Wars group included one wife and one mother in law. We had plans.

Then plans changed so we ended up with two cars at the movies. When it comes to seeing Star Wars you’d better not be one minute late.

Now I know. Now you know. If you’re not early, you’re late.

My wife used valet parking. The line was so long she paid for valet and parked it in their space herself.

Mummy and Honey were in line for IMAX when I showed up. ‘Hon’ gave me a gift card for popcorn and water. I added a beer for me to help the force awaken.

Turns out we weren’t seeing Star Wars on the big screen after all, just one of the multi-plex screens instead. If it was as good as I hoped the size of the screen wouldn’t matter.

It was the same size screen I saw the original Star Wars on in 1977, and it was memorable. Still is.

Since Mum and Hon were already seated, I walked in loaded with a barrel of popcorn, two waters, and Mild Duds. I chugged the beer, a red, on the walk to the door.

Back and forth I walked, waiting to hear our secret locator, the same one Gomer Pyle used: “Who Dee Hoo.”

I sat between my wife on one side and mom with kids on the other. But no ordinary mom, this one. She’d already seen The Force Awakens twice, and I suspected she’d see it another ten times if I know my movie fans.

A half hour of coming attractions, twenty reminders to turn off you cell phone in every nice way, a few wifely elbows for talking to another woman, and finally THE MOMENT.

I focused on the details, intensely studying each scene for all the secrets they hid. Just like college, all of the study made me tired.

During the slow parts I closed my eyes, reminding my mate to give me a bump when things picked up.

And they did. That’s a part of Star Wars others land on.

On the rain soaked walk to the parking lot I asked myself the same two things I asked after Harry Potter movies, Lord of the Ring movies, and The Hobbit movies: do I know more than I knew going in? Do I care?

The main thing is to be a good Star Wars fan.

See it twice, then let the force bring you back for your review.

You will come back and leave a review in comments.

You will come back and leave a review in comments.

How’s it working so far?