BOOMERPDX CASE STUDY: SHUNNING A SHUNNER

If you’ve been shunning, or been shunned, how’s that working out?

What’s the difference between time and distance, and not giving a damn?

Shunning.

You’ve seen the nice meme explaining how old friends who haven’t seen each other in years take up right where they left off.

It’s what happens with old friends.

But what happens when old friends, even family, avoid every chance to meet?

Shunning is a possible reason.

You know a shunner by their record. Maybe they talked about, bragged about it, tried to teach you the fine points of shunning.

If that’s someone you know, you’re a potential shunning target. That’s how shunners work.

They need more people to shun to keep up, to stay current.

How does friend shunning work?

Say you’re a Ford man. All of your friends are Ford men.

You all drive lifted trucks with off-road tires on flat black wheels. Add chrome valve covers to tie it all together.

When you meet at each others’ house you park on the front yard.

On the day of your regular cruise one of the fellas shows up in a king cab Toyota Pre-Runner. Not lifted, no trick wheels, no engine chrome.

“Hey man, what happened?” everyone asks.

“I got tired of the big truck/little penis jokes.”

Everyone shuffles and adjusts.

“Come on, really? Your little penis made you buy a Toyota? That’s using your head.”

No one calls to remind them of the next get together. No one calls to say, “Hey.”

No one answers their phone when Toyota guy calls.

Are they shunned, or just heading another direction?

Family shunning.

Who doesn’t have the confused uncle who seems to hate everything on first impression.

If you don’t agree with them, you’ve got a problem. You’re either fur ’em, or agin ’em.

After years of listening to their bullshit you speak up.

Big mistake.

A narrow mind isn’t like a narrow street. You don’t just cut a few trees down and add a few lanes.

Once you’ve been on board, you can’t jump overboard without consequences.

Or shunning.

If Uncle Fucko is a right winger or left winger, they won’t adjust to you’re treason. You won’t get hung or shot for treason, but they don’t know that.

Instead, you turn invisible, more invisible than a middle aged woman in an empty nest.

Family ties don’t matter. Blood thicker than water? Not anymore.

Either agree with them and their bully attitude, or be shunned.

Think of it as a way to thin your personal herd. It’s easier if the shunner has a shunning record. Then you’re just another brick in their shun wall.

There’s nothing special if you’re shunned by a mother shunner. It’s what they do.

Social shunning.

After family and friend shunning, what else is there?

You might be shunned for your choice of baseball teams. Red Sox and Yankee fans do it all the time.

The Dallas Cowboys might stink the rest of Romo’s natural life, but their fans win the Super Bowl every year.

The next time you see someone wearing Cowboy gear, don’t ask why.

“They were a better team with Danny White,” is not the right thing to say.

You might be shunned for where you choose to live.

“Indoor plumbing, huh? Man you’re soft. We’re done.”

You might be shunned for the color of your skin.

“Hey Casper, you might want to go outside once in a while.”

You might be shunned for warning a bully you’ll put them on the ground if they keep talking.

“If you keep hurting feelings like they don’t matter, you’re going to get hurt.”

Shunning works both ways. If a young man is shunned by the religion they grew up in because they asked questions, is that bad?

If an older man spews their version of racial intolerance, then shifts from race to race according to their ignorance, what are you losing if they shun you?

Shunning and being shunned may not be helpful, but can you imagine talking it out as an alternative.

Which would be more painful?