BOOMER ALCOHOL: AN INTERVIEW INTERVENTION

Boomer alcohol? They’ve met before, Baby Boomers and Alcohol.

But have they ever really talked to each other?

What would they say?

Let’s find out:

Boomer: Hello, Alcohol.

Alcohol: We’ve met.

B: I don’t remember.

A: And I’m not surprised. It’s what I do best. Do you remember the first time we met? You wanted a sip of your Dad’s beer.

B: Now I remember. I was eight years old. He had a can of Olympia. It was awful.

A: And now?

B: It’s still awful. I think it’s the water.

A: Do you remember the first beer you drank on your own?

B: It’s coming back to me. In eighth grade I was walking down a dirt road in my neighborhood and saw a familiar car pull over. I ducked into the brush and watched my older brother’s friend and teammate Jerry take a box of Blitz into the brush and leave.

A: What did you do?

B: I did the normal kid thing and moved the box of Blitz to the other side of the road, called a couple of party dudes who bragged about drinking, and we gagged down four beers each.

A: How did that turn out at what, thirteen?

B: You hit by the time we got to Geno’s and I hung onto the pole and rode it out.

A: Did the experience put you off drinking?

B: No, but I wasn’t planning on repeating that night.

Boomer Alcohol On Date Night

A: Do you drink on dates? When did it start?

B: From dazed and confused on Virginia, I drank a couple of beers on a date a few years later.

A: Mmm, hmmm?

B: I got sick to my stomach and passed out.

A: Don’t you sound like a fun date.

B: No help from you.

A: So it’s my fault? I hear that a lot.

B: You’ve been called a demon. The Demon Alcohol.

A: I believe you mean Demon Rum.

Two hundred years ago, America was considered a nation of drunkards. Alcohol was the beverage of choice, in part because people didn’t have access to potable water or couldn’t trust the local water supply. Alcohol was served to all, even children.

The tavern was the key social institution in town. Employers gave workers allotments of rum. Abundant corn crops were difficult to ship, so settlers transformed them into abundant supplies of whiskey.

Every man, woman, and child was estimated to have consumed more than 3.5 gallons of hard liquor each year, on average, with alcohol consumption peaking in 1830 at roughly triple the consumption today.

The general attitude at the time was that drinking alcoholic beverages was healthful, while water was fit only for livestock.

Strong drink was frequently prescribed by physicians, even for babies with colic, and was believed to cure colds, fevers, headaches, depression and snakebites.

Attitudes changed dramatically when compulsive drinking became increasingly recognized as the cause of ruined health and an early death. 

Boomer Alcohol In College

A: Did you go to keggers?

B: Yes I did. Also in 1974 you could drink Annie Greensprings wine in the Greensprings dorm at Southern Oregon. Then run around naked streaking.

A: Looks nice, but dorm drinking isn’t special or unusual.

B: It is when you’re drinking Greensprings in the Greensprings with a view of the Greensprings.

A: The trippy trifecta.

B: Trippy was down the hall. More like trip and fall. They had a motorcycle crash.

A: Was I involved?

B: If not then, you were later.

A: Glad to help.

Aging Boomer And Gin

A: You’ve switched to the hard stuff, I see.

B: Hard seltzer.

A: Have you had an intervention?

B: Not because of you.

A: I’m listening.

B: I was spiraling down from chemo and radiation and my wife and kids came in and yelled at me.

A: Chemo and radiation are life changing. Just like me.

B: I read a story about you and the Wyeth family.

A: Don’t believe everything you read. It was a train. So, hard seltzer? Did you graduate from wine coolers and lemonade? Hard cider?

B: I watch my weight.

A: How’s that working for you?

B: I think I gained eight pounds at my high school reunion to add to the ten I gained while I was on a diet.

A: A diet of gin? What have your learned?

B: Don’t put others at risk because of you.

A: Good. I think we’re done here.

B: I’ll drink to that, but in moderation.

A: An old dog can learn new tricks.

B: What?

A: Who’s a good boy. Don’t make me slap it out of your hands.