BETTER MAN FOR WHO, FOR WHAT?

If someone asks you to be a better man, not their Best Man, what do you say?

What do you do?

You could agree to make a better effort.

Or you could let it go.

Either way, you’ve got a problem. Then what?

Let’s say you’re a fan of love songs, marrying your best friend, or calling your girlfriend your best friend.

If you’ve ever been designated a ‘best friend’ you know the pressure that comes with it.

Best:

Of the most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality.

Friend:

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

I’ve heard talk about best friends:

“The only time I was a best friend was with someone who didn’t have any friends. Does that count?”

“My best friends are in a bar.”

“Everyone has a best friend at least once.”

A Better Man For Who You Care About

This is a shot of people on a train, a subway, the Metro, the Tube.

The morning commute, or afternoon, I can’t tell.

What I can tell?

If there had been a better man on the train, the girl in the middle would have been sitting.

But, for the people on the train it’s not a memorable moment, just a regular day of getting from the apartment to the office and back.

However, she’s looking back in a way that says she needs a better man than she can find either place.

Isn’t she?

I know I’m probably better off on my own
Than lovin’ a man who didn’t know
What he had when he had it

What I do know is women who need a better man, who want a better man, who know they can do better.

Better than what? Better than nothing?

A guy in the local bar sat at a table of dipshits discussing how babies are born like amateurs.

Not that I’m a pro after two home births, but I know a pro who could run it all down in one breath.

In other words, they were my kind of guys from an eavesdropping-in-a-bar perspective.

They are all familiar to me and all look like they could be better men.

Among them was a guy with a high opinion of himself.

He is newer to Oregon, which is my excuse for his high opinion.

He seems like a decent enough guy with a high ceiling in the bro-hood.

But, he could be a better man, and here’s why.

2

Me: The best part of being married is finding the right one.

Better Man: I’ll drink to that.

Me: Like I always say, ‘If you don’t marry up, you’re not trying.

BM: How’s that?

Me: We marry women better than us because they know what we need.

BM: What would that be?

Me: Less self-centered jackassery and more attention to other things. Like them, like kids.

BM: I didn’t marry up the first time.

Me: So you learned.

BM: Who says I married up this time?

If you raised a flag here, what color would it be?

Be A Better Man For The One

You’re talking down to me like I’ll always be around
You push my love away like it was some kind of loaded gun
Oh, you never thought I’d run

I’m a better man for quoting a Taylor Swift song from Little Big Town?

Why, yes I am.

Any baby boomer worthy of the name has met women who needed a better man than them.

A woman needs to know you are ready to ‘Be There’ and say, “Everything gonna be all right, all right, all right.”

My first fiancé reported in after a few years of marriage to the right guy after a misfire.

“My marriage feels like a business arrangement. I miss our metaphysical discussions.”

Here’s a metaphysical word to those considering marriage:

It is a business arrangement where neither of you is in debt to a leg-breaker for gambling debts, a meth dealer for failing behind on your front, or the target of a multi-state human trafficking sting operation.

And don’t show up with a bad credit score. Be a better man than that.

What happens if you decide to be the one?

And you meet someone who thinks you might be the one?

For starters you’ll never take this stab in the heart.

We might still be in love,
If you were a better man
You would’ve been the one
If you were a better man

Is it easier to NOT be a better man when someone needs you to be?

Ask your partner if they need to know you are ready to ‘Be There’ and to say, “Everything gonna be all right, all right, all right,” like you mean it.

You are more believable if you walk the walk before the talking the talk.

Comments are open for walking lessons.