BENEFITS OF GENERAL KELLY BOOT CAMP

The term ‘mustang’ describes an officer who joins the armed forces as an enlisted man before moving up.

Baby Boomer General Kelly is a mustang. So was his son.

Be sure the general knows the drill, no matter the place or the people.

Will a General Kelly Boot Camp in the White House improve American morale?

I’ll roll the dice and say yes.

The chain of command excuses President Trump from being ordered around, but that’s about it.

Kelly washed the Mooch out of the program. How will he fare with the others?

Understand boot camp isn’t for everyone. The United States Marine Corps motto is ‘Many Are Called, Few Are Chosen.’

The Corps didn’t make it up, they borrowed from the Bible, Mathew 22-14.

 

Kelly has been chosen, and been the chooser.

He knows where the hell holes in the world are hidden and what crawls out of them.

From wiki:

He said that the threat from terrorism was so severe that some people would “never leave the house” if they knew the truth.

Will a General Kelly Boot Camp help those in the White House know his truth?

President Trump’s kids look like they could use time on the grinder, even if it’s only on the lawn.

Kelly could run them out for PT, set up an obstacle course, serve them some traditional chow like he got in 1970.

 

More SOS boys?

Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. wouldn’t even have to go hardcore, get their heads shaved, a ton of shots, walk through a supply line where clothes are stacked on their out-stretched arms.

Forget the big finish were the hat fitter clamps a Class A cover on your melon, looks you right in the face and whacks your shoulder where the shots had been poked in.

It’s a painful moment to be sure. They smile, you don’t.

For a taste of realism Kelly could set up monkey bars, the sort you hang from, move bar to bar, end to end, until soft hands blister and break and bleed before breakfast.

He could show them how to disassemble a rifle to it’s parts and put it back together, then make them do it in a dark room under clock pressure. If they fail, back to the monkey bars.

As an example of toughness, former fitness trainer Paul Ryan could show the Trump kids a few things, like how to wear a ball cap backwards and pose in a tank top with his guns out.

 

For the full General Kelly Boot Camp effect the White House will need some remodeling.

It needs a bathroom where the toilets look like something out of prison, just a john hung off a wall with no privacy, and a sink in front so you can see someone shaving and brushing their teeth while you do your business.

About the toothbrush, add an extra so the boys can use one to clean the corners of their bathroom. And don’t get them mixed up.

You never want to brush your teeth with the wrong toothbrush.

Teach the fellas how to smoke cigarettes in between sets of push-ups. Drop and give Kelly twenty, light up, and while you puff away, knock out sixty sit-ups in a minute.

Show them how to climb and rappel and jump off stuff. After they hurt themselves, make them run a timed mile.

Because the Trump boys are sons of a sitting President, Kelly shouldn’t verbally abuse them. Instead, he needs their brother in law Jared Kushner to join the party to unleash some Marine talk.

From wiki:

During the initial assault on Baghdad, Kelly was asked by a reporter for The Los Angeles Times if, considering the size of the Iraqi Army and the vast supplies of tanks, artillery and chemical weapons available to Saddam’s forces, he would ever consider defeat. Kelly’s archetypal response was “Hell these are Marines. Men like them held Guadalcanal and took Iwo Jima. Baghdad ain’t shit.”

Imagine the load of terror he’d drop on Kushner whose father Charles has an interesting record.

In 2004, Charles was arrested on charges of tax evasion, illegal campaign donations, and witness tampering. He was prosecuted by then U.S. Attorney Chris Christie, convicted, and sentenced to two years in prison.

 

General Kelly has Marine sons who cut the mustard.

Maybe the young men in the White House could at least lick the lid.

My own dad was a Marine in Korea. One of his three sons joined the Army. When I told him my plans he said, “Not the Navy.”

During my enlistment I found the birthplace of the Marines in Philadelphia and stopped in for a beer.

It was a good beer stop, a stop for history.

After the kids in the White House graduate from General Kelly Boot Camp he needs to march them to the same place and make them power drink until they pass out, just like the old days, right, Sir?

President Donald J. Trump is proud of his kids, but he’ll feel even better about them if they finish the White House boot camp.