AT THE TRIMET BUS STOP, pt 2

One part of weird Portland, the Keep Portland Weird part, is SantaCon near a TriMet bus stop.

If you’re a fan of SantaCon and like dressing up in Santa gear and bar crawling Portland, then you’ve seen this.

If you’ve never dressed been a Santa, this is your chance. Drinking beer with hundreds of Santas pumps up the Christmas spirit.

Once a year you get a shot at something bigger than a Christmas tree and a mall.

You can handle it, but there are a couple of challenges.

Last year one part of SantaCon on SE Division included a beer garden near a TriMet bus stop.

I wouldn’t have noticed but for the two people arguing. Their voices didn’t carry, but his gestures and her cowering did.

Santa’s day was in danger.

I approached cautiously, just another Santa waiting for the bus undercover style.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” he said. “You promised to tell me.”

“I was afraid, just like now,” she said.

I’d heard enough.

“I’m afraid too,” I said.

Jumped right in. Not always a good idea, and this was no exception.

“No one’s talking to you,” the man said.

Mid-thirties man know who’s turn it is to talk. His. Blasting on his lady. Doesn’t want interference.

“Come on, man. Everyone under seven talks to Santa. You’re not under seven, but Santa’s talking to you.”

The woman stepped away like she’d seen this all before. I kept an eye on her. I’ve seen this before, too.

“You got a problem. Now you’re stepping up to a TriMet bus stop with your problem? It’s about to get worse,” the man said.

“No, it’s not what you think. No problem here. Just a couple hundred Santas watching you rag on a woman who won’t walk away.”

The woman circled to the left.

“Maybe you should walk away,” the man said.

“Oh, that’s a good one. I ought to walk away from a TriMet bus stop in my Santa suit? Because an abusive dude says so? Do you tell everyone what to do, or is it just her and I?”

That didn’t help, so I continued.

“Look over there, pal. It’s a sea of red Santa suits. You see ’em? Their other outfits the rest of the year are biker gang colors, lawyer suits, and hospital scrubs.”

He didn’t look.

“You think I’m abusive now, just watch,” he said.

Yikes. A challenge from a tough guy at a TriMet bus stop. In Portland. On the east side. Time to run away?

“We’re in Santa suits. I’m in a Santa suit. That’s all I’m saying. And you’re ruining the vibe. You want to be a Christmas killer? Do it somewhere else.”

I gave the woman a ‘you can do better’ look.

She gave me a ‘he’s a start-up superstar’ look.

He turned away with one of those dramatic arm shakes, like he was releasing all of his pent up energy.

This Santa walked back to the Santa tribe and met three Santas who said, “Man, thank you. We were about to go over there with you.”

A few minutes later the TriMet bus stop guy started on his girl again. The guys were filling their glasses.

Their “Hey man we’re glad you stepped in” got more real.

I called them over with, “See what’s going on now? It’s your turn Santa.”

“What?”

“The guy didn’t get it. He needs your help.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, like you said. You want me to go with you?”

“We need you, bro.”

“Let’s roll.”

(What happened next? Leave a comment.)