ANTICIPATION ANXIETY, OR “HOW BAD CAN THIS BE?”

New beginnings around here start with anticipation anxiety, sleepless nights, and carefully moving forward.

Does that sound like your standard operating procedure, your SOP?

It’s one thing when it’s on the job, another when it’s just you and you’re got an idea you want to figure out.

Instead of the trusted steps of 1, 2, 3, it turns into so much more.

Then what? Anticipation anxiety steps up, that’s what.

‘Can I do this?’

‘If I screw up the first time, can I start over?’

‘What happens if it doesn’t turn out as planned, ever?’

Writers’ anxiety tells the story best. More than one successful writer has said when they start a new book, “If feels like I’ve never done this before.”

Then they start thinking about outlines and synopsis and structure, or they fly by the seat of their pants.

The question gets shortened to, ‘Are you an outliner, or a pantser?’

Either way, writers dive in and start writing sentences and paragraphs and chapters.

It doesn’t always work out the way planned, but that’s not a killer problem.

Do The Work. Here’s Why:

You can fix existing things, but first they have to exist.

Married people know this: You can’t go to marriage counseling if you’re not married.

It’s the married club, and even if you’re in a bad marriage you’re still in the club.

I’ve yet to meet a single person who goes to marriage counseling ‘just in case I meet someone.’

Talk about anticipation anxiety.

I was talking to a man at my local watering hole who said he was moving out of the house he and his wife shared before their divorce.

Divorce? Jesus, that’s not what I go out for a beer to hear about, but there I was.

So I asked, “Was there another man?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Oh man, that’s the worst. Where did she meet him? At some class, an art gallery, at work? Guys always want what they can’t have, even another man’s wife. That just sucks.”

“Well, it wasn’t her. I met another man.”

I was struck dumb by anticipation anxiety before saying anything. I fell back on feedback.

“Another man, huh? You?”

“Yes, it’s bad timing.”

“What did your wife say?”

“She wanted a divorce.”

“Any kids?”

“No, so we’re lucky with that.”

Then he got up and left for his next life stage.

Anticipation Anxiety Resolution

Once you make a solid decision to move forward on a project, you bring all you’ve got to it.

Whether it’s framing a picture with a frame you made, painting a wall, or changing light fixtures, the anxiety doesn’t magically depart.

With a frame you have a chance to stab yourself with a chisel, cut yourself with a mat knife, or ruin the piece you’re framing.

So, use sharp tools and be cautious about where your hands are. Try not cut toward your body.

2

Paint that wall, brother. Get to rolling, but put down a tarp for the splatter and tape the edge where the paint stops.

Remember where your paint tray is so you won’t step in it and tip it and spread paint in places it doesn’t belong, like everywhere but the wall.

Who doesn’t like a ‘Feature Wall?’

Anticipation Anxiety Wrap Up

Changing a ceiling light fixture starts with one most important act: go the fuse box and turn off the power.

Once more for those in back, “TURN OFF THE POWER.”

Then follow the instructions that came with the light fixture.

Anticipation anxiety can lead to catastrophizing and awfulizing.

If those aren’t new words, then you’ve got work to do.

They’re new words to you? Then maybe it’s time to figure out if they apply to you, or someone you care about, like the person who accidentally stabbed themselves framing a picture, stepped in the paint tray, or got a jolt.

May I suggest that you imagine your project finished to perfection before you start?

What comes next is getting things as close as you can to what you see in your mind.

Can you do it? Yes, you can.