ABIQUA FALLS DREAMSCAPE, OREGON TREASURE

 

Who knew of the Abiqua Falls dreamscape?

The last thing a know-it-all wants is something new, something they don’t know.

It’s a problem for some, a challenge for others.

A short walk to a river and waterfall? That’s what the listings say, but not if you like your car.

Then it’s a longer walk, much longer, but more on that later.

I’ve been in the Columbia Gorge waterfalls. Before it was blocked I’ve been in the pool under Multnomah Falls on the hottest day of yesteryear.

The Abiqua Falls dreamscape is my new favorite waterfall hike, and it wasn’t about the falls.

The place looked like a set for Jurassic Park the way the tree branches hung and curved with moss dripping off them.

You won’t see T-Rex rounding the corner, but…?

Like you’ve read about people fighting battles no one knows about, it’s the same with hikers.

Not everyone looks for the waterfall on a waterfall hike. Instead, it’s the hike.

Take a challenging trail with the wrong people and bad things happen. A challenging trail with the right people? Same deal.

That’s what you get on a steep trail with rope assists. Rope? Just hang on.

===

Young people see difficult times and plow through, no big thing. Just buckle down and go.

Older people, like their parents, no so much.

After a certain age, fear sets in. Fear of injury, fear of pain, fear of looking stupid in front of their kids.

It’s something to get over but doesn’t always happen.

Add a few more years, a cane, a walker, and places like the Abiqua Falls dreamscape are beyond reach. So they look at pictures of adventure instead of the experience.

And that’s a good idea.

What happens if something goes wrong when there’s no cell coverage in mountain goat territory?

Thirty three rescuers and a helicopter pilot know the answer.

Like the Grateful Dead singing Casey Jones, “Trouble ahead, trouble behind, and you know that notion just crossed my mind.”

A three hundred foot fall, bouncing off rocks and logs, isn’t part of anyone’s day of fun.

Add a know-it-all baby boomer, a show-me-what-you-got dingaling, to two millennial sons on a the same trail and it could be trouble.

 

When should a leader become a follower?

If a better leader steps up.

Older people have difficulties with this. They know better, they’ve made inroads, they’ve earned their leadership stripe.

And they don’t like being told they’re full of crap by younger people, not that that happened on the trail.

I was more than happy to set the pace. My pace.

Like one kid said, “It’s better to be a pussy then be stupid.”

In another time those are fighting words, words to dig in with, to show who’s who.

Luckily for all, I already know who’s who on a hard trail.

My boys nursed their old man along. They didn’t want to pack my dumb ass out after a tumble any more than I wanted to see them crash and burn.

This was the place for crashing and burning, but it didn’t happen.

Dodged that gurney even when one of them said, “You don’t look as bad as you did at the finish line of Hood To Coast.”

Comforting words.

===

A message to millennials:

if your parents seem fit, take them to the Abiqua Falls dreamscape. They will love you for it.

Just don’t push them too hard.

Park your ride at the gravel quarry and walk down to the trail head. It’s a lovely stroll compared to the walk out.

This is where the savvy kid breaks out the endurance tips.

“The car is just around the corner.”

No, it’s not.

“It’s around the next corner.”

No, it’s not. Once you see the black streak of a busted oil pan you’re closer.

Let them go slow, offer water, walk with them. That’s what makes a bond in the wilderness, if you call wild an hour’s drive out of Portland.

It’s no Pacific Coast Trail, but it’ll do.

Message to boomers: follow your kids.

If you don’t have a bum knee, bum hip, no cane or walker, and you’re not on crutches, strike out on the trail with the punks you raised.

You owe it to yourself. And you owe it to them in case they get past sixty and wonder if they’ve got anything left in the tank.

On the way home be sure and make the right stop.

Seven Brides Brewing is the answer to, “Where’s the right stop after Crooked Finger Road?”

From outdoorproject.com: