PICK A SIDE AND STAY THERE, OR NOT

What’s the problem when you pick a side?

You’re stuck.

You talked the talk, walked the walk, then something changed.

But you’re stuck.

Either stay on the bus as it goes off the bridge, or hit your eject button.

Portlandia came to town in 1985 during big changes downtown.

More towers, more rail transportation, more direction and momentum flowing from the 70’s and the young mayor on the cusp of big things.

Portland could handle over-sized loads, under-sized loads, and everything in between.

Everyone wanted to live here.

More than one tourist left looking for little bits of Portland the rest of their lives.

A man and a woman walk past a bookstore window where someone is reading a book and sipping coffee on the other side:

 

Man: Doesn’t that remind you of . . .

Women: Powell’s before the old man died . . .

Man: The corner of NW 11th and Burnside . . .

Woman: They could be us . . .

Man: Except I never sat in the small cafe on a rainy day afternoon watching traffic and pretending to read . . .

Woman: Yes you have.

Man: Maybe with you.

Woman: That’s where you told me your dating trick of cruising the self-help shelves trying to meet women with problems like you.

Man: Problems like me? I never said that.

Woman: More than once.

Man: You’re remembering my grocery store dating angle.

Woman: Where you talk to women with carts full of food you like.

Man: Do you remember where we met?

Woman: Not in a bookstore or Safeway.

Man: That’s right. We met on a city sidewalk like normal people. And where did we go on our early dates?

Woman: Powell’s, the reference section.

Man: And?

Woman: Grocery stores. What’s your point?

 

Stay On Your Side?

I share fond memories of this ring, these rings.

They were packed into a little bag I carried as I walked along Rodeo Drive with my wife.

We’d been inside the Cartier store, a first for me, where the light was low on a bright LA day, and every sales person looked identical in their black Dracula-drag attire.

I was there because I picked a side, the marriage side, and stuck with it.

We were a good decade in before the question of an engagement ring came up. Again.

 

Wife: I don’t have an engagement ring.

Me: Because you’re married with a wedding ring, not engaged.

Wife: You bought another girl a ring.

Me: It was her idea and it was jinxed.

Wife: This is my Mom’s ring.

Me: I know. You’re not married to your Dad. And it’s a nice ring.

 

And that’s how we ended up in the Cartier store, then on the Los Angeles stroll of fame, while I kept a hidden lookout for bag snatchers.

Since then we’ve walked the matrimonial trail together on the easiest pick-a-side choice I’ve ever made.

 

Easy? Marriage? Pick A Side

What’s the problem when you pick a side?

You’re stuck.

You talked the talk, walked the walk, then something changed.

But you’re stuck.

Or maybe you forgot to include others, like a normal family. I’m a sticker with these two.

Everyone’s got their part about, ‘You’ll never know the worst of it’ told in quiet, whisper, tones.

If you ever hear something like that, you probably don’t want to hear more. But you will.

Instead of clamping down what you want to say, consider something else.

 

People in your life have expectations not unlike your own, otherwise they wouldn’t be in your life.

Instead of dancing around, find a way to get what you need and move on together.

Hint: You don’t need eggshells.

Pick the side of greater good and pull others along.

Just keep ‘greater good’ in mind.

The greater good for Portland in the mid-80’s got so good everyone lost track.

Confidence in leadership took a hit when the visionary came up short sighted.

Today Portland property owners are fined for the condition of their buildings after vagrants chased businesses out by spooking the customers with unsanitary behavior.

How badly do you want to go into a restaurant or store? Bad enough to step over bodies laying in the doorway? Bad enough to weave your way through the urban detritus?

Is the greater good good enough with a wedding ring in three parts for three times the good?

What could possibly make it better?

 

 

PS:

Think of your favorite sports team. It’s never hard to pick a side when they’re playing.

 

PSS:

Think of your favorite people. Show them you’ve picked their side, don’t tell them.

 

PSSS:

Think of your favorite blog and pick their side by subscribing in the sidebar.

It doesn’t have to be Davidpdx, or boomerpdx, but since you’re here . . .