AMERICAN IMMERSION CLASS STARTS NOW

An American immersion class is more than how to fold a flag without dragging it in the dirt.

Still, when you do get to that part don’t drag it in the dirt.

No, my friends, an immersion class begins with requirements.

Just as we’ve seen in old WWII movies, you need to know a few things to make it back inside the perimeter after a night of prowling around gathering information.

Guard: Who won the World Series?

 

The wrong answer got you drilled.

What are the questions today to get back inside the wire?

 

Guard: Why isn’t Tom Brady the greatest football player ever?

You: Because he’s only a quarterback.

Guard: You may pass.

 

This is why education is so important: you train your mind to remember.

Memory is an important part of American Immersion Class, but that doesn’t mean you need to memorize the internet, print it, and file it every day.

Don’t do that.

Remember your activities of daily life, your daily living, not the typical sex, drugs, and rock and roll of your average baby boomer’s daily routine, which turns out to be weirder than expected.

 

Guard: Who won the slimiest person award today?

You: Bill Gates and his side-chick admission.

Guard: You may pass.

 

Remember your duty to your wife, kids, and the country that allows you to honor those responsibilities.

If you live on your terms with no complaints, you are a success. Keep it up.

But what if you’re squatting in the ruins of your former home sharing a bowl of cold gruel after an evening rocket attack?

 

Normal Life Immersion

You’ve all heard this said:

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

That bridge? It’s a different crossing at 20, at thirty, at 4o, 50, and sixty.

At some point it’s the last bridge you’ll ever cross for the last time, but most of us never know it, or see it coming.

For that we share ‘The Mystery Of Life.’ More on that later, but for now this is no mystery:

The American Occupational Therapy Association lists 12 essential IADLs:

 

1. Managing your finances, including paying your bills, using bank facilities, and planning your expenses

2. Taking care of your health, including regular doctor visits and following medical prescriptions correctly

3. Doing your own shopping, including groceries, toiletries, clothing, and other necessities

4. Prepping and cooking your meals

5. Managing your transport, including driving vehicles, taking cabs, and using public transport

6. Using the telephone, post, email, and other communication devices

7. Doing household chores like cleaning, gardening, and laundry

8. Taking care of pets

9. Caring for children

10. Looking after others, including supervising caregivers

11. Maintaining religious practices, hobbies, or other interests

12. Knowing safety procedures and emergency contacts and responses

 

Check off what’s going good, what’s not, and think of what you need to do.

If you’re married for a long, long, time, like more than three to five years, past the seventh year itch, and over the quarter century hump; if you make that milestone you’ve probably got a wife who sees you as part life-mate, and part 4-H animal science project.

Stop me if you’ve heard this before:

 

A man and a wife go together to his doctor appointment. After the check-up the doctor says, “That’s it. Leave a semen sample, stool sample, and urine sample, on the way out.”

The wife says to her husband, “We haven’t got time for all of that, just leave your underwear.”

 

More Education = Better Life?

From Pew Research:

Among those who married in the 1960s, 42% experienced divorce by 2023. Some 47% and 46% of adults who wed in the ’70s and ’80s, respectively, had their first marriage end in divorce.

Americans who married in the 1990s or later are less likely to have been divorced as of 2023, though these shares may increase in the future.

In addition, those with a bachelor’s degree or more education (25%) are less likely than those with a high school degree or less (37%) and those with some college education (41%) to have divorced.

 

That’s me doing research on Greek Myths.

What I learned is there’s a lot of cross-over with the gods, the goddesses, and their god-children, not so much with me, my goddess, and our children.

Am I glad we all got bachelor’s degrees and no divorces? Yes, I am. Proud as a peacock.

What throws cold water on our discussions about good behavior in marriage is the disregard shown by others.

Who points to a role model with a string of ex-wives in their wake?

A role model with little regard for their job, the work they were hired for, and has trouble explaining what happened, is not someone to elevate, to lift up as an example.

The world’s most interesting man was created for a beer commercial, not to lead the free world with some hazy vision of the good old days through the ancient eyes of a smirky old man.

 

PS:

An American Immersion class on BoomerPdx invites Greek myths:

The Olympian gods had the same inclinations and the same desires, the same flaws and strengths as the mortals, even sometimes living in similar conditions.

They looked like humans, but they were, almost always, prettier and stronger than humans.

The gods could be transformed as they wished or teleported to any place they wished to. This was also a motivation for the famous Greek hospitality, which was a very important institution in ancient Greece.

The Greeks would always welcome with special joy any foreigner, who could, after all, be a god in disguise!

 

PSS:

As well as the usual questions.

Click the link for a ten question immigration test warm-up.

I went 10 for 10. You?