WHEN FRIENDS MATTER MORE

Do friends matter more the older you get?

It depends on who you ask.

If someone has lots of friends, they say yes.

What about those with few friends?

They say yes, too. But . . .

They try and explain what happened to their friends.

People change.

People move away.

Or they changed and moved away.

Then what?

Either make new friends, or think about what you’re missing with old friends and feel sad.

The current culture says don’t be sad because you can stay in touch online and it’s the same as being there.

Explain it to those who have ‘been there’ and they might disagree with what being there is.

There’s something about the rhythms of life, the coming and going, helping with work, and just being available with a wave and a smile, that makes a difference.

Friends are the most thankful people when you help them unexpectedly.

Unless you help them the way you think they need instead of the helping the way they asked for.

Be friendly and listen carefully.

 

To Be A Friend, Be Friendly

The biggest impediment to true friendship is fear.

Friends like to say, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

That’s what ended a budding friendship.

“When I was younger I had movers take this armoire/entertainment center upstairs. Could you help me take it down.”

The guy was younger than me, not that it matters.

We pulled it out of the back of top room, down a twisting stairway, and out the door without chipping wood or denting walls.

And without taking it apart. It was a Herculean feat.

Since then he’s lived in fear of what I might ask for help with in return.

The first thing I hear every time I see him is a sore shoulder, a trick knee, something spinal, on and on.

As a friend, he ought to have more subjects in his conversation arsenal. I tune out faster and faster.

I could tell him my version of the FC (friend code):

Be helpful to a fault.

In these kinds of situations, these friend cases, tune out is usually followed by turn off, which can be awkward with neighbors.

On the other hand,

 

Friends Of Friends

Friends of friends are tricky.

Who are they again?

Friends by association? Work friends?

One day you’re on the desk next to old Bob, and the next day Bob’s desk is cleared out and you never see him again and no one mentions his name.

As if that ever happens.

That top picture, the wanted poster, is familiar to all baby boomers and others interested in history as it was.

Those are the men rounded up for electoral shenanigans before the 1972 Presidential elections, the Watergate guys, professional types with important jobs in government and undoubtedly held in awe in their neighborhoods.

Until the carpool showed up with the guys in dark suits.

The second picture is a round up of the men responsible for Allied shenanigans during WWII.

They crafted the future of the world during the ongoing slaughter, hoping for better results than the other side offered, like less ethnic cleansing, less inhumane treatment of mass populations, less indiscriminate destruction.

The third is a round up of the bottom tier of people carrying out the shenanigans of mass killing in Ukraine.

Is dangling on the end of a rope together a sign of true friendship?

 

PS: Be aware of your surroundings.

 

PSS: In a room full of jackasses, you won’t stand out as anything different.