SOLVING PROBLEMS ONE WAY, (and the other)

I started solving problems early with a traffic court appearance.

I was sixteen and charged with speeding.

On a Honda 100 motorcycle.

It wasn’t known for speed.

What was the problem?

I wasn’t over the speed limit.

So instead of doing the practical thing and paying the ticket, I went to court.

So far, so good?

I presented my side, the officer their side, and the judge made a quick decision, a little too quick for sixteen year old me.

“Blah, blah, blah. Guilty. Blah, blah, blah.”

I paid the fine. That’s how I remember it, but my parents probably paid, and I paid them back on a schedule.

A month or so later I was at a table in the old Pony Village Motor Lodge restaurant and saw a drunk couple, older people, wobble out of the bar, take a booth and start slap-fighting on the table.

The woman was slapping the man’s hands away from the ketchup bottle.

He finally got hold of it, unscrewed the cap, and started drinking it. Or trying to drink it.

Heinz Ketchup is famous for its slow pour.

It was the judge from traffic court and some woman having a big time.

Did I say anything? Noooooo.

Did I do anything? Noooooo.

Did I point them out to everyone at the table??? Noooo . . . Maybe. Yes.

I’ve always been big on sharing. Ask anyone, except the people who know me best.

They may not tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“Oh, David? He’s big on sharing.”

That’s the story.

 

Solving Current Problems, Beginning With Ants

One day nothing on the bathroom floor; the next it’s a swarm of little ants so thick you couldn’t see the white floor under them.

I could have gone nuclear, called the pest man, and fumigated everything with heavy-duty pesticides.

Instead, I got the vacuum, sucked them up, and watched carefully.

Where are you coming from little ants?

I saw where and put out the gel ants get into, take back to their nest, and kills everything.

So far, so good.

The next day, fewer ants, but still a swarm.

And the next, until I decided to wipe them up with a damp cloth that I dropped into standing sink water so they drowned, and gave the source spots a few squirts of RAID.

Fewer ants to wipe up and drown, a process I’ll repeat until they end.

FEWER, and FEWer, and Fewer.

What is it with these ants? Just die already.

 

Borax is toxic to ants and is an effective ant killer. It is available in grocery stores. Make a paste of borax (one part) and sugar (three parts) and stir it into water to dissolve the mixture.

Place it in a glass jar or any other container. Ants are attracted to this sweet paste, which they will carry to the queen. This can destroy the entire ant colony.

 

Kid Problems To Solve Together

I have kids, my kids have kids, which makes me a Granddad,

I’m the Granddad who, as a parent, heard what to expect from my kids from a man who also had kids.

Am I one of those parents who expected the worst from their kids?

No, that was my parents.

My Dad was a former Marine who worked the brig on the USS Boxer, an aircraft carrier; my Mom worked in the DMV busting car theft rings from out of state who registered the cars in Oregon for the savings.

Growing up, we didn’t have much chance of going off the beaten path.

I’m more thankful of them than the rest of the family because I went furthest off Hwy 101.

The values from home helped in my decision making as a young man.

 

Me, at a party where I knew one person:  Why is everyone so weird and smelly?

Pal: They’re all on acid. Take this sugar cube.

Me: Next time.

 

That was five years after this news:

 

Diane Linkletter was reported to have fallen out a window in her 6th floor apartment suite and died.

Immediately after this, in a press conference, Art blamed his daughter’s death on the use of narcotics, specifically LSD. However, it was announced later that a toxicology test found no drugs in Diane’s system.

Immediately after the death of Diane Linkletter, the American public became easily sidetracked by the profiteering schemes of the American media who turned the event into a national debate about permissiveness versus restrictions in the personal use of narcotics.

 

If you spend the day riding around in the breeze wearing antlers and blasting AC/DC at high volume, just saying no didn’t work.

Or something.

 

This Granddad sees kids learning how to play without hitting and pushing, how to learn without feeling stupid, and how to help without being asked.

They learn about unselfishness, sharing, and stepping up.

They wash their hands before going into the classroom, putting their packs away, and starting the day.

They show up bathed, teeth brushed, in clean clothes; they leave excited for the next day.

Teachers keep order in the classroom and playground with gentle guidance.

So far, the future looks be in competent hands.

Whose hands? Parents and teachers. Those are the big ones.

 

 

PS: If you are a grandparent who feels compelled to explain your views on politics, religion, and the Dallas Cowboys to a seven year old? Just don’t.

 

PSS: If your grandchild asks you a question, answer it. If you don’t they’ll make up their own answer.

How hot is boiling water? They don’t need to find out on their own.