DANGEROUS COMBINATIONS TO BE WARY OF

Dangerous  combinations  come in every variety in all walks of life.

In baseball it’s a fastball followed by an off-speed pitch for a third strike.

For boxing it’s a left jab followed by a right cross for a knockout.

In football it’s a running play followed by a pass.

But, what about the non-sporty stuff?

Like what, you ask?

For this baby boomer, and baby boomers in general, and tack on the mighty millennials for extra meaning because like this boomer blogger, we all know about the gaps in learning between parents and kids.

Take cause and effect for example.

If you pour gas on gravel with the purpose of lighting it on fire to show your kids the dangerous combinations of being science illiterate, and fearless, stand back.

Gas fumes catch on fire in a big hurry, a surprising “WOOF” that might throw you off balance, and there’s one thing a decent education offers is balance.

This is this, that is that, and when combined without the proper safety measure you might burn your face off.

In this case use a three foot length of metal or wood with an ignitable tip for protection.

Even better, stop fucking around with gasoline and fire.

That’s not a journey with a happy ending.

I had a science teacher in junior high who taught the class an important lesson along these lines by filling a balloon with propane and lighting it with a Bic in class.

The balloon, which looked like any balloon in any balloon store, went from normal to ball of fire in a flash that singed the teachers arm.

Thank you for that lesson in education, Mrs. Kerr, it’s still paying off.

The next time I saw anything like it was inside the Tacoma Dome for THE WALL with a big balloon exploding with enough heat to feel thirty yards away. (Hey Ray)

 

High Horse People Taken Down A Peg

My latest discovery, and it’s bigger than I thought, is the dangerous combinations of illness, and not even a major one we rally to like cancer, heart disease, or stroke.

No, I’m talking some low key combo like insomnia and food poisoning.

If you’ve never had the pleasure, it goes like this:

Last week I was looking in on family members who had fallen ill with some bad shit, hospital quality bad for one, near-hospital for another.

After the first case got discharged from the hospital, the next picked up momentum.

For three sleepless nights I kept watch. Then they turned the corner to wellness, a slow turn.

To celebrate I warmed up a big bowl of homemade chili and topped it off with beets.

Expired beets.

In short time, so short I didn’t even finish the chili, I got a sensation in my gut that spelled out g-o-p-u-k-e.

As wrestlers of a certain era know, purging is our friend, so I gave it a shot.

We used to call it tickling the tonsils.

Nothing happened, so I gave in to the reality of letting nature take its course.

I laid down and it got worse.

I spent the night dry heaving like I was in the parking lot of the Neighborhood Facility Building on a Saturday night.

My gut felt like I had the fucking Alien in there waiting to explode through my torso.

Luckily for my wife, and our marriage, I was in another room grinding it out.

By the next morning no Alien had made an appearance, but I was wracked.

After a zombie day of food aversion, the next night was worse.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been married so long I’m used to the routine of sleeping with my wife holding hands, not holding my gut.

The next day and night were a repeat of the past twenty-four hours.

I kept a bucket handy for any emergency evacuations.

I was down long enough for the extra bed to turn on me, so I had to find somewhere else to de-tox.

A recliner didn’t work, a couch didn’t work, so back to the bad bed.

I felt like Gene Hackman looked in French Connection II when he was captured, force-injected with heroin, and did his own de-tox. (Hey Popeye)

After I found another landing pad things got better for me and everyone else is working to pull through.

 

Sleep Deprivation And Anything Are Dangerous Combinations

Even your dog knows about sleep deprivation. Can’t fool Fido, so don ‘t try.

Without good sleep what have you got?

A downward spiral.

Writer can’t write right since writing needs an important part of the brain, the awake part.

If anyone in your family talks about being tired, listen.

They might be coming down with something, or staring at twitter too long, or watching too many consecutive episodes of streaming TV.

“One more show,” is the streaming mantra.

Or maybe it’s cable news wearing them out with one breathless, wide-eyed, proclamation after another.

Unless you’re at 100% that shit can drill you.

If you are fit as a fiddle, get in there and show it.

Your dog will be proud.