HUSTLER MAN FAIL AT DINNER TABLE

I watched a hustler man work the magic one night at a dinner table.

He was alone, wife out of town, with a few married couples.

One woman caught his attention.

Hustler: You seem very happy tonight.

He was an older man wearing young man clothes.

It was a sporty look, the kind to avoid if you’re not sporty.

He was giving it a shot.

 

Hustler: If I had to guess I’d say you didn’t grow up around here.

Woman: I grew up on warm water beaches.

Hustler: It must have been nice for you.

Woman: It was nice for my friends and I. We spent the summers in bikinis and sun screen.

Hustler: That’s a pretty picture.

 

Interpreting A Hustler Man

A hustler listens for one word: Go.

Not go away, but go on.

This particular hustler worked the time tested route: be a good listener.

If the target thinks you’re a good listener, they want to know what else you might be good at.

The condescending smile and smarmy wink gave it away, but the woman didn’t notice.

 

Woman: We’d get there at noon, rub suntan lotion on each other, and lay out on towels.

Hustler: Mmm hmm. Did you?

Woman: All through high school and summers during college.

Hustler: No guys?

Woman: Some of us had boyfriends.

Hustler: You?

Woman: I wasn’t going to get tied down by some beach bum.

Hustler: But you went out on dates?

Woman: We had group dates with friends.

Hustler: Beautiful young women on group dates?

Woman: Yes, and we’re still friends.

Hustler: That sounds wonderful.

Woman: It is.

 

Being Cautious With A Hustler

As the evening continued the hustler man revealed that he’d made a few trips to the alter.

Hustler: We all make mistakes.

A law firm advertising on sports talk radio warns men about divorce and the changes to expect.

“Most of our clients didn’t ask for a divorce and didn’t want a divorce.”

But they wanted to be a hustler man to show they’ve ‘still got it’ and their wives found out.

Of course they didn’t want a divorce, they just wanted to cheat on their wife and hope no one found out.

A few times.

What a hustler man does:

If their partner in quirky conversation is oblivious to their goal, they keep talking in their particular code.

Once their partner picks up the scent, and doesn’t shut it down and hold their nose, the plans start.

Meet for coffee, meet for a drink, meet for dinner. All sweet and innocent.

Everybody’s all friendly right up until they’re not.

Then it’s,

 

Woman: Oh my God, why would you even think that? What do you think I am?

Hustler Man: You are a beautiful woman. That’s what I think.

They were sitting at a tiny table in a ritzy restaurant.

The talk was small when they talked at all.

 

Third Rate Romance Special 

I’ll confess to being too sensitive in regard to my wife, and I’ve regretted it.

We were at a dance place when we were young, hopping around like lunatics, dancing like no one was watching inn the early 80’s.

So I’ve done that.

 

“Embers is a dance club, a performance venue, a gathering space,” Cook said. “One side is a big dance floor, I’ll even use the word ‘discotheque,’ with lights and smoke and mirrors. The other side there are drag shows many nights of the week.”

 

It was one of those group outings and the group left me out on the dance floor to take a break.

I short time I found myself surrounded by dancing dudes in black leather who started slamming like a mosh pit.

They wanted to slam around, so I broke out the slam. No one fell down.

It was a big dance floor with a blasting sound system that got the crowd fired up.

At the same time I looked over and saw a stranger sitting in front of my girlfriend, later wife, trying to wedge his knee in between her knees.

She didn’t seem to notice.

He kept scooting in while I danced my way out of the leather gang and over to their side.

In my most polite manner I got rid of him.

But it turns out they knew each other and couldn’t hear each other talk in all the noise.

My regrets.

 

I made plans once to drop out of college and move across the country for a woman.

It didn’t work out. My regrets. I dropped out and moved. That part worked out just fine.

I made plans another time to give up my apartment, move out of Portland, and start over with a girl who was giving up her apartment, quitting her job, and moving across the country.

Before that happened I’d made other plans

Nothing  worked out. My regrets.

What did I learn?

I learned how to spot a hustler man the moment the hustle starts.

No regrets for that, not one.

Does my wife agree with my sharp eye?

The problem is I usually jump up too early.

My goal with the hustler man?

Pick someone else and we’ll all be fine.