BIG DISAPPOINTMENTS, BECAUSE THERE’S MORE THAN ONE

My big disappointments are what come up first in a life review.

“Dang, that could have worked out better.”

Following that track doesn’t lead to a very good review.

This post will explain how to work it out better for both baby boomers and the new biggest generation of Millennials.

Go big, or go home, right?

How many times have you met someone new and thought,

“Look at me hanging with the cools guys and fitting in. We’re the same people.”

(If it’s never happened, don’t worry, keep reading.)

In no time the initial cool chills with an unexpected turn to, “My biggest disappointments.”

Those aren’t the exact words I heard when I was invited to a auto race banquet. (Hey Rob)

There was another guy at the table who got a Super Bowl ring with the 49ers.

I’ve never met anyone who’s been to a Super Bowl, let alone played in one. Or wore a uniform.

49er: It’s no big deal. I didn’t even get on the field.

Still closer than anyone I’ve met, but that didn’t register with him.

Normal people, nobodies like most of us,, see stars who don’t see us.

A guy in the gym said he was a utility infielder with Cleveland, and the first major league player I’ve met.

I told him that and he got funny, like celebrities who don’t want to sign autographs in the bathroom.

And like the Super Bowl scrub, this guy complained about playing time.

Should I have reminded him, “You’re a Major League Baseball player, for God’s sake.”

Their big disappointments are not my problem; I’d be celebrating.

 

My Big Disappointments: Football

For some reason I never clicked with the team part of football,, the part about playing hard for each other.

I didn’t understand the part about respecting the game enough to stand up and lead.

Neither did the coaches.

 Coach 1: You’re are losers because you’re more focused on the dance after the game than the game.

Coach 2: We’ll need five rolls of tape to keep your shoulder on, along with a rope tying your wrist to your shoulder pads so your arm won’t fall off in case the tape doesn’t hold.

Coach 3: We’d be better off if everyone was more like that guy.

 

There wasn’t a noticeable football culture with three different head coaches in four years.

That changed when I became a football parent.

My kid played his first year in high school on a team that won the state championship.

The coach was an intense PE teacher who had his guys dialed into his vision of how to play.

And it worked; it was exciting.

Even though he didn’t make the traveling team to Autzen as a sophomore, he was a part of it.

That feeling of a team of destiny is contagious.

I felt it afterward while I walked the storied turf.

Autzen was where high school games in Eugene were played in the early 70’s where my teams didn’t win one game in three years.

Things changed to title games in 2003.

They changed again with the Duck football win over the Ohio State juggernaught.

Autzen has been one of my big disappointments, but I’m getting over it.

I’ll finally be free when I read ‘Autzen Stadium Home Of The National Champion Oregon Ducks.’

Feeling better now.

 

New York City Disappointment

I quit on New York, not that that’s anything new.

People quit on New York all the time.

They get tired of the hassle, get priced out, or have someplace better to go.

Not that you could tell a New Yorker there’s any place better.

I quit when I could have stayed.

I had friends I did things with, a promotion at work to the Options Crew, and a fun girl who liked hanging out.

It was a life, just not one I could see a future in.

What, I’d work twelve hour days, get married in a sleepy haze, and move to New Jersey so little Davida could stand on real grass in the Garden State?

That’s normal social evolution in New York.

Or you quit.

You quit because you weren’t ‘discovered’ and celebrated and cheered for just being you.

You quit because climbing the ladder from worker to manager to department head to general manager to the executive suite was impossible, even though a guy from the floor married the bosses daughter and skipped every step to the top.

You quit because you were homesick and missed your family.

I quit not because the Big Apple is too sour, not because Broadway is the only way, and not because I was a foreigner in my own country.

Those are all good reasons to stay.

I quit because of a girl I hoped to meet and I knew I’d never meet her in NYC with the constant ‘should I stay or should I go’ vibe.

So I left. That was the final answer, and I’ve never been back.

 

Who Do I Blame For Those Disappointments

My big disappointments are what come up first in a life review.

“Dang, that could have worked out better.”

With the right coaching I could have bulked up to two-forty and ruled the grid iron.

A decent mentor could have directed me to night school in New York that would have set me on the path to success.

Damn, those guys were such a let down.

But I’m not blaming them because they don’t exist in the world where I take responsibility for my actions.

I adjusted my ‘blame someone’ attitude, blamed myself, figured out that I made my own decisions if there’s any blame, and finished with, “No foul, no blame.’

And that, my friends, is how you can deal with life’s big disappointments, life’s big mysteries.

Either learn to fight your way out from under self-blame, or fall victim to those who are more than willing to do the blaming for you.

THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED AGAINST YOU!

IT’S THE SWAMPY GOVERNMENT!

IT’S THEM, THERE THEY ARE, OVER THERE. IT’S THEM!

The correct answer is no, no, and no. Not the system, the government, or them, whoever they might be at the moment.

Yes, I’ve got my disappointments, same as you, and you, and you, and together we struggle along.

We carry the burden and that’s enough.

If someone adds more, you need to ask why?

If someone lightens the load, you need to ask how.

In the meantime, do a life review without the disappointments out front.