ENGLAND LAKE DISTRICT ‘JOY RIDE’

Drive to the Lake District, the tour book says.

It will be a fun joy ride.

Whenever you hear the term ‘joy ride’ and it’s not about stealing a car, use extra caution.

This was the joy ride around the Lake District.

On a perfect day the joy ride in Northern England has hints of Hawaii with the sloping green hillsides and impressive rock debris slides.

And like Hawaii, the weather changes throughout the day.

Not this day.

It started out cold and raining which turned into windy, cold, and raining.

But for someone raised on the southern Oregon coast town of North Bend, wind, cold, and rain is a normal day.

Sunshine? What’s that?

Maybe the weather accounted for the driver in the top image?

Or, maybe they weren’t dialed into driving the joy ride roads?

 

40 minutes of driving doesn’t sound like much, but it is more difficult than you think in both the Lake District and the Dales. Roads are narrow – possibly 1 track – and very twisty.

Driving is slow at any time of the year, but probably slower in winter. I would advise taking 2 accommodations – 1 in the Lake District and 1 in the Dales.

A single shift with a car should not be a lot of work and would definitely make touring a lot easier.

 

White Knuckle Driving

The wife and I risked our marriage with a joy ride through the Lake District, which seems normal.

But instead of Divorce Road, we pulled together and had a few laughs. Ha. Ha.

What’s so funny?

The one lane roads had signs warning of ‘Narrow Roads’ thinner than the one we were on.

WooHoo, good one.

The cold, rain, and wind did nothing to keep people inside.

The roads were full of hikers, bikers, sheep, and more.

There’s a tour bus, a wide van pulling a trailer, and more bikers and hikers.

Imagine a blind right turn with people walking on the left.

If a car comes around the blind corner like the single car crash at the top, do I swerve into the people or opt for the head-on collision?

That’s two bad choices on an intense pucker moment. Instead I slowed to a crawl to avoid getting hit harder.

‘No Car, No Car, No Car,’ and no car showed up to total my ride out in the middle of nowhere.

I repeated my Lake District Mantra hour after hour.

The full-sized van and trailer?

I pulled to the left up against a rock wall. It could have been Hadrian’s Wall?

The van driver decided he had enough room to pass, so he pulled in his rear view mirror and went for it with an inch to spare.

He was close enough to slap if our windows were down, but we didn’t grind it out.

Since I bought EuroCar insurance on my MG SUV, getting side-swiped wouldn’t be as tragic.

Me: Do I need to take pictures of the car to document any damage before we leave?

EuroCar Guy: With the extra insurance you can roll the car in the parking lot and walk away free and clear.

 

My white knuckle driving was anticipated.

Twenty years back in 2004 I drove south England from Cambridge to Cornwall with wife and kids.

Everyone remembered that fun:

 

Me: Which turn in the roundabout?

Wife: I can’t tell.

Me: I’m taking this one.

Wife: It’s the wrong one.

 

Updated to 2024 with GPS in the car, the phone, and three adults in the car.

 

Me: Which turn in the roundabout.

Wife: Slow down.

Me: I’m taking this one.

Wife: It’s the wrong one. Slow down.

Chorus: Oh. My. God.

 

Now no one wants to ride with me driving and I don’t blame them.

 

Me: I’ll drive slow.

Wife: We can do it.

Me: Which road is our route out of the roundabout.

Wife: I don’t know.

Me: I’m taking this one.

Wife: It’s the wrong one, no wait, it’s the right one, the wrong one, I don’t know.

 

You’d think my confidence might be shaken. If you do, then you don’t know your favorite blogger.

I’m two months out of being smacked to shit and totaling my best car ever when another driver went through a stop sign in Beaverton at full speed, yet here I am driving on the left side of the road with the steering wheel on the right.

 

Sheep Guard In The Lake District 

Where I come from the side of the road with a cliff has guard rails and a rumble strip.

If you’re on the outside lane in the Lake District joy ride the only thing saving your from going over the cliff is a ‘sheep guard.’

With them in place you slow to a near stop with a car coming the opposite direction, which brings the crucial decision of hit the car, the sheep, or go off the road.

So far so good.

But, how did we get here in the first place?

 

Wife: Lets plan a trip to England.

Me: Why?

Wife: It’ll be fun and we’ll have company.

Me: No driving?

Wife: We’ll take the trains.

Me: I can do that.

 

After further planning:

 

Wife: We’ll need to rent a car to get to the places we want to go.

Me: We’re going to divorce road again?

Wife: I didn’t mean it, besides now we have experience.

Me: Okay, let’s go.

 

Profile In Courage For This Blogger

I’ve never been to Cockermouth with no plans to try.

At the same time I’ve never been to Cockfosters either, but both have a similar effect on me.

When I saw Cockermouth I asked my wife if she wanted to visit.

 

Me: We could go to Cockermouth.

Wife: Where’s that?

Me: We could find out.

Wife: Mmm hmmm. Cockfosters again? Funny.

Me: I don’t make the signs.

 

Before we left PDX my kid said, “Have fun on the roads with GPS.”

He knew, I knew, but memory is short.

With this new ‘joy ride’ experience update, we all know.

First the Cotswolds, now this. 

Is driving the sheep trails of the Lake District a challenge?

With the hikers, bikers, sheep, and more, I’d call it a challenge.

Twenty years ago it was a challenge. Each day ended with a relief to leave the car and drink heavily.

Twenty years later? I parked the car, hit the bar, and gave thanks for having good mental health.

 

Me: Beer please. Better make it two. Add a double gin and tonic since my wife is expected after she calms down.

Bar man: Where have you been?

Me: Seven hours in the Lake District.

Bar man: Did you drive?

Me: Why do you ask?

Bar man: You look pale.

Me: A couple of IPA’s ought to bring some color back.

Wife: Is that gin for me?

Me: It is. Cheers to a great day in the Lake District.

Wife: Was it?

Me: We’re here to prove it, and that’s the memory we’ll share. It was fine.

Wife: Fine?

Me: Wonderful?

Wife: It was something.