THE MARRIAGE TRIP LOSER: DON’T DO THAT

A marriage trip can go any number of ways, including off the tracks.

My wife once got a phone call from an old flame recently divorced saying they were passing through and wanted to catch up.

Seems innocent enough?

One thing led to another until I went negative full-jerk.

Why? Because I know things about the guys and gals on their marriage trips.

He probably wasn’t testing the water?

He was testing the water?

I explained to her why I thought it would be a bad idea either way.

In 1975 I lived in Philadelphia.

Some of the women at work were all going to see their favorite guy, Bruuuuuce, and invited me.

I didn’t go because I figured he was another iteration of Bob Dylan.

Boy was I wrong.

I did see his show in the early 90’s. It wasn’t young Bruce doing four hours of full throttle rock.

And it wasn’t young-me, either.

I stopped listening and idolizing The Boss after that, then got over it.

Now we’re good. I’m certain he feels relief.

His music is one thing, a memory, but the show didn’t hit right with me for some reason.

The reason: He’d been married to an Oregon girl that didn’t work out for them and he said, “What was I thinking?”

Wrong Turn On Marriage Trip?

I sensed the same result with the former flame.

Would my wife say the same thing if he showed up fat and drunk and working hard to rekindle old memories on his way to rehab?

Then there goes all of those special memories for the wife.

After I finished the Bruce / Boyfriend comparison, I was the problem.

There goes all those memories of a husband who wasn’t some insecure weeny?

So I caved and asked where we were all going to meet up so I could share the moment with them.

It didn’t happen because I ruined the moment.

As a petty, jealous man, I showed my true colors.

He was probably a nice guy that married the wrong girl, the wrong three girls for his marriage trip.

I like to think he was looking for someone as full of life and adventure as his old girlfriend, now my wife of more than three decades.

Not Today, Pal

The long married couples in the audience get this; so will those hoping to be long married couples.

Memories work differently for everyone. The trick is to put them in context.

Do shared memories of past loves improve a marriage, or are they detrimental to the bliss.

My wife and I keep this in mind:

Let’s do our best to make a happy marriage, but not better than our best.

Your best is your best. Better than your best? That’s trouble.

Fight me.

We’re on a big marriage trip with a thousand miles before we rest.

We will be doing our best and nothing less. And nothing more.

Our best, not more than our best.

That’s our plan and we’re sticking to it.

What would Robert Frost say?

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.