PERSONAL JOURNEY? IT’S YOUR TRIP

Did your personal journey begin once you met the right person?

There you were, living your life, looking forward to the next day, then WHAM.

You see them and wonder how you could ever live without them.

So you don’t.

You weren’t looking for a change, now you want to change everything, whatever it takes to hold your dream life together.

Does that sound familiar?

Someone isn’t looking to change anything. In fact they’ve got a good life in hand.

They’ve got friends, a good job, a nice place to live.

Now they want to make room for more.

They want to make room for you.

Should you be honored? Frightened? Do you share your feelings even if they don’t match?

Should you share them if they do match?

These are the questions, the relationship questions, that come up.

Not all of them need an answer. The questions that have an answer built in especially don’t need an answer.

Why risk screwing things up if they’re humming along just fine?

Personal Journey To The Local Dump

I got good advice on how to read someone, how to reveal true feelings people have without a single word.

Call them up for a surprise date and show up in a truck loaded with trash for a dump run.

Date: What’s all that?

You: It’s trash. We’re going to the dump. Do you have anything you want to throw on?

Take note: Do they panic? Do they look like, ‘What the hell kind of a wasted afternoon is this?

Or do they go back in the house and come out with a big bag of kitchen garbage, throw it on the pile, and hop in the truck.

Not everyone responds to surprise dates the same way.

That they go along at all is a good sign.

Even better is how they do at the dump.

Do they stay in the cab, or get out.

Do they watch you unload, or help.

Extra credit if you leave an extra pair of gloves on the seat and they put them on.

If your dump is anything like my old dump, there are garbage pickers down in the hole.

Your date should look over the edge before doing anything, which is another good sign.

The Work Date

One summer I slimed fish on the graveyard shift at the local cannery.

It was one of the money jobs in the region; the other money job was the sawmill.

At the fishery and mill you could drop out of high school junior year, go to work, and by the time your old classmates finished college you already owned a house, a truck, and a boat.

One night at the cannery a guy stopped by on his night off. He was a lifer all of twenty three. He brought his date and introduced her to the crew.

He stopped a moment to talk to the boss, then whipped his sweater off and wrapped it around a huge salmon.

His date was very excited when he handed it to her.

After they left the boss told the crew, “If you guys play your cards right that could be you in a few years.”

I heard him and remained unconvinced. Is that the future I wanted?

If that sounds like a future for you, and you don’t live on the coast, or don’t know where the local dump is, how are you supposed to vet a potential partner?

Stick To The Basics

Do you have things in common?

If yes, are they things you want to pursue, or drop.

Part of the fun is finding new things to share.

You could share your appreciation of Taylor Swift.

Or not, but if your date is a Swiftie, you’ll need a wardrobe update.

Probably an attitude update, too, if you plan on sticking around.

That’s what happens when someone else joins your personal journey.

They make room for you and you make room for them.

That’s how things get started. It’s how you keep it going once you get started, too.

Back in the seventies we had Carol King, Joni Mitchell, and Janice Ian for reference.

Luckily we also had Carly Simon.

If we could make it past seventeen with them and get to Taylor Swift, then so can you.