UNDERSTANDING SPORTS FOR THE NON-SPORTY

For starters, understanding sports, if you don’t already, and you’re past fifty years old, where have you been?

But it does happen.

One sign is when you hear, “Why aren’t there more touchdowns in baseball?”

Or, “Do you shoot a field goal, or kick a field goal?”

“Yes,” is the right answer, but first:

Competition is the underlying foundation for understanding sports.

Someone thinks they’re better at doing something than someone else.

Doing what? Let’s imagine how it all began.

Humanity, if I may be so bold, started with lots of wandering around.

Agree, or disagree, but remember how you behave in a shopping mall food court, or a food cart pod.

You came for this, but that looks better, and the more you walk around the more inviting food becomes.

Do this, and you know you have, and you’re behaving like a ‘Hunter/Gatherer.’

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The hunter-gatherer way of life is, in general, one of moving from place to place in search of good food sources. Hunter-gatherers may follow a particular food animal as it migrates, or they may move into new regions that are better in a particular season. Hunter-gatherers who fish, tend to stay near their fishing resource.

If you’re a good hunter/gatherer, others in the band try to copy you. But, if you’re a bad hunter/gatherer you might not make the road team.

Cave wife: What have you brought to the cave today?

Caveman: Nothing.

Cave wife: Then take your spear and get back out there.

Caveman: I’m tired. My arm hurts. It’s too dark.

Cave wife: We need food. Everyone else has food. Don’t come back until you have groceries.

Early man looked for food where he was, looked for food around the corner, and over the hill.

He competed with his fellow man for the same food sources. If he wasn’t very good at it, he learned to be good.

In other words, practice. We’re talking about practice.

Understanding Sports And Their Reach

The older we get, the greater we were in our competitive days.

We’re all winners . . . eventually.

All it takes is finding a new audience to regale with your sports heroics.

Even if you never played a serious moment in any game, match, or meet; even if you never stepped on a field, court, or mat, talk a good enough game, sound like a superstar, and to anyone listening you’re a world champion.

The key is making sure no one knows who you are when you off-gas your accomplishments.

We live competitive lives, so compete, but do it right.

You never served in the military? Then don’t buy uniforms and medals to make yourself feel better.

You didn’t like the physical contact of competitive sports? Then don’t get all jocked up after the fact.

But you made a lot of money? That doesn’t translate to a gold medal.

You have respect in your community? That’s enough. You don’t need to embellish things way out of context.

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The problem is that eventually you feel regret. Didn’t play flag football in grade school because your momma wouldn’t sign the permission slip?

You didn’t buckle your chin strap in junior high because you felt you were too small?

Then you tried to play something in high school, but the coach didn’t like you?

Let it go, Jimmy. It all makes sense.

Your story is a common story, but you turned into an uncommon man and now you need a better history.

Instead of rolling in the bullshit of fabricated dreams, be a better person. Be better than that.

No one is keeping score, but try and attend a high school reunion with your made up glory and you’ll feel like you should have stayed home.

Don’t be That Guy.

You did the best you could. It just wasn’t very good, but you got better.

Let that be your key to understanding sports.

Either that or start gambling on sports, join fantasy leagues, and put on that uniform.

Just don’t leave the house in it.

Sports Life Review

If you’ve never benched 315 lbs, give up now.

It’s not going to happen, so don’t make a claim.

Oddly enough, I give the same advice to anyone claiming to have benched 315 in high school.

It makes me feel better for topping out at 280. Call me selfish.

Besides, what evidence does anyone have for weight lifting prowess besides their claim?

They have a good pitch. If they say they did with a convincing argument, believe them in the moment. It’s their moment, not your’s to doubt.

Understanding sports helps explain what’s going on in this picture:

Driving a Rolls Royce to Goodwill sends a message I don’t understand.

Their other car was in the garage? It’s an old Rolls and they didn’t want to roll in with the new one?

Or, it’s competition with anyone else in the parking lot?

If that’s the case, they win. A Rolls Royce always beats a Rolls Canardly, the car that rolls down one hill and can hardly make it up the next.

That’s a win for them because they need it.

Instead of Showtime in a car, look at yourself and call for Go Time.

PS: It’s time. Time to practice being a little bit better.