BETTER LIFE BEGINS WITH _____

A better life begins right where you are, not over there.

Or there, or there, but right where you are, which might be the reason change is so hard.

The funniest thing I’ve heard about making a change is, “We haven’t done anything and we’re fresh out of ideas.”

But that’s not you? Let’s be sure.

Muhammad Ali said he endured the suffering of training for fights so he could live the rest of his life as a champion.

So you need to kick your own ass to be a champion and live a better life?

What if you miss your chance, lose your last fight, and walk away feeling like an all-time loser?

Don’t brand yourself too early, champ.

If you’ve ever competed for a title, you didn’t get there on a losing record.

You’ve sent plenty of others away feeling like all-time losers.

Now you know the feeling all too well.

You tried, tried hard, gave it your best, and it wasn’t good enough. Not that day.

Before you collapse and fade away, look at a calendar, any calendar.

What you’ll notice is there’s a day after today, and a day after that, a day after tomorrow.

Yes, it feels like a long time away when you’re consumed in failure and doubt and feeling like a big old waste of time.

Let the silver lining of your dark cloud be a guiding light.

Tell Your Story To Yourself

I read a book titled Marathon Man by William Goldman.

The main character was a PhD student with a goal of ‘knowing everything.’

Can a PhD student ever ‘know everything?’

I hope they’re happy knowing what they know because from a BS point of view it’s a lot.

Whether you’re a Phd, Masters, Bachelors, Associate, carry a high school diploma or GED, or dropped out in the eighth grade because your eighth grade dropout dad said any education past eighth grade is for people afraid to work, make peace with yourself.

How do you make peace with yourself?

I dropped out of college twice because I had ‘other plans.’

My plans didn’t include following in the footsteps of college people I met.

One man had lived in the dorms for fifteen years while he gathered an armful of degrees.

He found his sweet spot and stayed in it, knew everything about the college, and looked forward to meeting his new roommates each year.

Imagine an eighteen year old freshman rooming with a thirty-five year old man.

I had other plans besides sticking around a small college town longer than necessary. One year was enough.

I knew athletes who’d spent all of their eligibility, enrolled in grad school and worked as grad assistants to stay in the game they looked forward to coaching.

That was a plan, just not mine.

I dropped out after spending the summer working in a sawmill and saving money for the next year.

Instead I joined the Army.

Two Years Later

If you read blogs for inspiration, for role models, this isn’t my advice, just my life.

Two years later I picked up my honorable discharge with a clean service record.

The next week I was back in college like I’d never left, except it was a different college.

I was inspired by a book I’d read by Carlos Baker, Ernest Hemingway: A Life Story.

My plan was educating myself by taking all of the upper division English classes, drop out, and move to Europe and write up a storm.

Like the Marathon Man, I wanted to read everything and know everything.

It was a good plan. My buddy had a place in Spain to start. Then I met a college girl who changed my plans.

My plans turned into ‘our plans’, until she changed to ‘her plans’, which is how I ended up living in New York City without her. But she visited a few times.

As a double dropout I had bills to pay, student loan bills. The kicker felt like a higher education lure:

If I was enrolled in college classes I could deduct the cost of classes off my student loan debt.

Which is how I reeled in a BS in American History.

My job paid tuition on classes related to work, a Pell Grant paid for the rest, and I repaid student loans.

Did I mention that I got married to a driver who said I was going to finish what I’d started?

It wasn’t in our wedding vows, ‘Thou shalt graduate,’ but it was pretty clear my pride in being a dropout was misplaced.

Better Life, Better Self Esteem

If you make an effort to be your best self and help others achieve more, you’re on track for a better life.

But better than what?

Too many of you hold yourself to unrealistic goals and when life turns out more realistic than planned you revert to bad habits.

From the outside you look like a loser who gave up with a loud, “FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.”

Why be a quitter when you had sense to make a plan to begin with?

Adapt, adjust, and overcome your bad habits.

Otherwise you walk around with the stench of failure hanging on you.

The only people who will notice are those who know you best.

So why put them through such a gagging hardship?

Reach for the clean air brother and let others breath.

Work on your new plans, set small goals you can accomplish on the way to bigger things.

I’ll let you in on a secret before signing off today.

I walked around on a frozen hip for over a decade and didn’t think a thing of it.

Others did.

Before I got it fixed up I had people tell me it hurt them to see me struggle to walk a straight line.

If that sounds like invading people’s personal space with your ‘fail stink’ it sounds like it to me too.

Today I walk with a light step in sweet air.

Does anyone else appreciate it as much as I do?

Probably my dog, but she’s not saying it out loud.

If you have a life you’d like to upgrade to a better life, start today, start right where you are.

Don’t make your family and friends and strangers passing hold their breath.