ALONE AGAIN, NATURALLY OR UNNATURALLY

If you find yourself alone again, don’t despair.

The young people will find others and wistfully remember their alone days.

The elderly treasure their memories of an active, busy, life.

At least that’s how it’s supposed to work.

What gets in the way? Social media?

As a responsible blogger I review before writing, re-write before posting, and catch problems on further reading.

That’s writing all tied up in one small package. Anyone can do it.

Part of my review process is scanning for trends and topics and keywords to reach an audience on twitter and Facebook.

Why not just write a first draft on the first thing on my mind and call it good?

Because that would be a denial of the education I strived for.

And yes, I hear those in the back saying you don’t have to strive much to graduate from Portland State University.

I strived more there because I had a wife and kids watching.

With them around earlier I would have graduated from Southern Oregon and University of Oregon instead of dropping out.

Back then I was alone, then alone again. My record as a striving single man scholar is sketchy, but my blogging habit makes up the difference.

I hope that’s what’s happening with the lasting power of wife and kids.

Or is it the haunting power?

Stop And Take Inventory

In a little while from now
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it’s like when you’re shattered

Gilbert O’Sullivan was shattered. His plan? Take a flier.

That’s not you.

Mick Jagger was shattered. His plan? Sing a song and move along.

You are shattered. What’s your plan?

Before you do anything, remember that everything shatters differently.

For proof, put a mixing bowl on the corner of a counter and accidentally knock it off on to the brick floor.

(Who the heck puts a brick floor in a kitchen?)

Broken glass bounces everywhere and you chase down every last last piece. At least you think it’s the last piece until you find one in your foot.

Do an experiment and recreate the event under controlled conditions. The glass goes off in new directions, you pick it all up. You sweep, vacuum, mop, twice.

And you still get a shard in your foot.

Make A Plan For Being Alone Again

If you’re a hermit, this isn’t for you.

But if you’re a married person moving to a new town, and your partner is feeling alone, try this:

Ignore them.

Don’t pay them any attention, belittle their feelings, and shame them all at the same time.

This is how you become alone again, you jerk.

If someone is down with the blues, don’t pile on like some two-bit bully.

This is your partner, your husband or wife, your commitment to trust and faith and hope ’til death do you part.

However, they may not see you in the same light.

So shine a brighter light.

“But Dave, if I shine a brighter light I’ll show more of my flaws.”

Doesn’t this play to the common maxim of ‘do what I say, not what I do‘ when you don’t do anything; or ‘ignore the man behind the curtain‘ when it’s you behind the curtain?

Everybody loves a winner, the shiny new kid on the team.

What happens when the shine grows dull? Start looking for a new shiny thing, or break out the polish.

Do the work to clear the patina of bad memories and bad behavior and you may find people doing the same work.

You may be alone again at some point, and still be connected to a larger cloud.

Those are your people and they matter.

Gilbert Down The Stretch: Alone Again

Looking back over the years
And whatever else that appears
I remember I cried when my father died
Never wishing to hide the tears
And at sixty-five years old
My mother, God rest her soul
Couldn’t understand why the only man
She had ever loved had been taken
Leaving her to start
With a heart so badly broken
Despite encouragement from me
No words were ever spoken
And when she passed away
I cried and cried all day
Alone again, naturally

Baby Boomers, do you remember this song?

Millennials, start singing it.